Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Boys: This One's For You

To The Men Who Have Done Me Wrong:

Thank you. At age nineteen with no serious relationships under my belt, it is all of you who have taught me exactly what to look for, what to stay away from, and what I want. All while thankfully, never committing to a single one of you.

See, the way you operate has taught me a lot about life. Whether you actually ask for a date or just act plain sleazy, at nineteen I've seen a lot of it. And as much as it terrifies me, I must thank you.

So thank you for the experiences. Thank you for the "dates" that meant getting a bottle of Coca Cola to drink at a gas station. Thank you for taking me out on multiple, legitimate dates only to say that you don't have time for a serious relationship. Thank you for dating crazy women that for some reason always hate me, and thanks for the times you've said "we'd make great friends." Without this whirlwind of excitement, could my life ever truly be considered complete?

I think about all of you, I write about all of you, I contemplate bringing harm to some of you. Yes, only some of you. But you've provided me with this immense amount of character. I had no idea I could be so tantalizing and fascinating all at the same time.

And the best part of all of this is, I don't even have to look for you anymore. Before, I used to search for a nice boy to be considered mine - - but now I've definitely given up. Most time I would have used looking for someone has been replaced with dealing with drama of people I'd like to beat off with a stick. Yes, you know that I'm talking about you.

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't have it any other way. As an avid writer and part masochist, I openly welcome the drama and stress into my life. As I age, I thrive off of the excitement. You suckers keep my wit fresh and my pen constantly rolling. And for that, I cannot thank you enough.

However, I'm not promoting these men in any kind of way. It's never good to see a man burst into tears when trying to talk and I don't advise that you ever pee in the snow (again) on our first date. These are never good signs and girls faint of heart, stay away from these.

Through it all though, I am permanently entertained and know exactly what I'm looking for in a relationship - - whatever is the exact opposite of all of you.

Best wishes,


Stephen said...

It's good that you've narrowed down the field to non-cryers and non-public urinators. That should still leave you with plenty of acceptable choices.

meghan said...

I know the feeling - guys can be so difficult. I cant even describe the amount of messes i called relationships i've been in that made me miserable at the time. but i thank the other half now, because i can only get stronger!

check out my blog;
x m

Teresa London said...

that kinda makes me feel better about being single thank youu (:

Steve said...

I'm glad you said this: "I used to search for a nice boy to be considered mine - - but now I've definitely given up." That's probably the best move anyone could make. Looking for something you won't find, it will find you. And all of us experience those things that we think might last, but don't; or are terrible and we get out of right away. Whatever the case, the majority of relationships young people are in don't last. Someday we'll all find that love. Which I guess is pretty awesome, no?

I'm enjoying reading your blog. Check my (new) blog out. Or don't. I'm not here to promote myself. Adios.


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