Thursday, February 04, 2010

All the Single Ladies...Put Your Hands Up!

It's truly ironic. I pine over romantic comedies and chick flicks frequently, (my favorite movie is Dirty Dancing) but I'm completely cynical when it comes to romance in the real world. Reading me poetry by candlelight or saving Jessi, the damsel in distress? I think not. I'd rather fight my battles all on my own.

I'm only nineteen, so having no serious relationships under my belt may not seem like a big deal. But I feel that society puts plenty of pressure on people to be in relationships. But why would I want that when I'm on my way to perfecting the single life?

Being single is wonderful. For instance, I can sing Beyonce's "Single Ladies" from the heart and with true pride. I can go out with my girls whenever, everyday if I like. If this last year has taught me anything, it's how much fun you can have with your girlfriends as well as how much they can teach you about yourself. My friends have taught me more than any guy has ever shown me. Besides, why wouldn't I want to spend as much time as possible with my girlfriends? They are intelligent and beautiful women, and we know how to have a good time. Just because you have a man doesn't ensure you're always going to have a blast.

I've met a lot of ridiculous guys in my life: crazy, dramatic, or just plain stupid - I've seen a lot of it already. There may have been a few I should have considered longer than I did, maybe even looked past some of their glaring flaws. But why waste that time when I've already found an interesting, perfect person? Me!

At nineteen, I consider myself to be off the market...I'm in a relationship with myself, and boy does it take up a lot of my time. I'm a freshman in college, so I'm spending a lot of time with my books, learning who my real friends are, finding out who I am and what I want out of life. At this time, a guy would simply interfere with that process. Like Samantha Jones of Sex and the City put it: "I love you, but I love me more." It's really that simple, sometimes you have to be a little conceited. I don't see anything wrong with it.
So why shouldn't you love YOURSELF this Valentine's Day? Sometimes, you're really all you've got. This is why it's wonderful to be single: I've got more time to discover me.

So I'll leave you with a definition of single: "of, pertaining to, or suitable for one person only." This Valentine's Day is pertaining to ME, because I'm suitable for this girl only. :)


Linz said...

i'm so encouraged to hear you be so empowered! it's rare for a 19 year-old to be content in her singlehood...and to love herself dearly, which is very important. let the time come when it comes. don't shut down and close yourself off from love, but don't look for it desperately to fill a void. i've met plenty of girls in my lifetime who can't BE without a man, and it always saddened me. there IS a sense of fulfillment when you love, and are loved back...but there's also a sense of fulfillment when you are satisfied with yourself. brava to you.

Jessi Haish said...

amazing advice, thank you! it's always great to hear from you

Turner said...

In my opinion, so take that for what it's worth from the get go, how can you truly know and love another if you don't know and love yourself? If you don't know who you are, how can you know what you are looking for or what will make you happy?

I am so sick of hearing cliche lines like "you complete me", and the sad part is how many people (both male and female) believe this crap! How about I am a complete and whole person without you, but you know what? You COMPLIMENT me and my life and I CHOOSE to be with you. Those words, thoughts, and concepts are to very different things. As old as I am, and as many relationships as I have been in, I have only found one person that has completed me and he is currently laying upstairs in his crib dreaming the sweetest of dreams. Take this time for you, your studies, your writing, and your dreams. Take the time to travel and see things you have only dreamed of and read about in books. Take the time to try foods that you wouldn't ordinarily try, talk to people you normally wouldn't even dream of striking up a conversation with, and stop to breath it all in and appreciate the wonderment of it all. You have the rest of your life to worry about finding someone, and it will happen when it is supposed to, because it's supposed to- not because you wanted it or willed it to. Namaste!

Jessi Haish said...

Turner, you are the most amazing person in the world. I miss you!

I AM said...

Age is purely a number. I've learned a lot from your post. Time alone allows one to get in touch with oneself. Good Post.

Felicity said...

What a great post! I wish I had your wisdom when I was 19. : )


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