Tuesday, March 02, 2010

I Tend to Never Forget. Ever.

Here's a fair warning: I remember. EVERYTHING.

This means if you plan on lying, deceiving or hurting me, I will remember it all for the rest of my life, and hell will most likely come crashing upon you.

Don't believe me? I can recall the conversation I had the first time I held hands with a boy: in the back of a the fifth grade. I remember the outfit I was wearing (now that I think about it I remember his outfit too) when I had my first kiss. I remember the text I sent when I found out my best friend was dating a guy I had adored for nearly two years. I remember it all.

I have an incredibly fierce memory, and this is to be handled carefully. I advise and welcome others to take this fact and pick it apart, especially when considering testing me or trying to re-gain my trust. If you hurt me in the past, I can simply bring that moment back and flesh it out in my mind to the point where it seems like it happened yesterday. This is a beautiful curse. This is also why I find it so terribly hard to let go of grudges, and it's even harder for me to forgive (when I actually do forgive - a rare occurrence for me.)

So...just don't mess up. Because I'll never let you forget, my friend. I will never forget. I gave you fair warning.

Plus, I will most likely write about it. Eventually.


RAY J said...

I'm the exact same way

Turner said...

Me too... but forgiving isn't about letting THEM off the hook, it's about letting YOU off the hook. Once you have done it, you no longer have to carry around the weight of the grudge, hurt, and memory of it all. Don't do it for them, do it for you. I guess I can say this now that I am like 100 years old! :)

Anonymous said...

A great memory is a good thing to have. Regretfully, a grudge only hurts the person holding it. I prefer to spend my time remembering the happy and wonderful things that happen every day. Forgiving others for what they say and do allows you to move forward and not live in the past.


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