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Friday, May 28, 2010

Late Night Thought: The Ways of the Straight-Edge Do-Gooder.

Some people call it "leading a straight-edge lifestyle," I just think I have no desire to try it.
I've never had alcohol, tried drugs or even touched a cigarette. None of these things.

Being nineteen years old, a college student and having lived in a small-town my entire life, I personally consider this to be quite the accomplishment.

In high school there wasn't much to do around here; you could go bowling, to the movies or party. Since there aren't many options for teens later at night, I'm well aware that not always the best decisions are made around here. For some reason, I haven't been one of those people.

I have never had any desire to try a drink or try drugs. I never have before and I still feel no reason to. I could make it happen easily, but I've never felt the need and I've not once for a second thought hey, I should try this. I have no idea why. It's not that I have these strong moral decisions against it, I just honestly don't feel like it. Now, this post isn't going to be me telling you that you're wrong for doing these things or try and push you to think like I do.

However, I like to discuss this topic with other people. I've tried to get to the bottom of why people my age do these things. Why go to a party and get drunk? I've never seen the excitement in that idea. Most people came to the same conclusion: it's just fun. It's an escape. It's something different; it's simply something to do. It can also be a release; a way to let loose.

A way to let loose? Do you know how I 'let loose'? I write. I fill notebooks, emails, text messages and blog posts with my thoughts. I sit and talk things out with people. I'm a big communicator. After I process a hefty thought through writing, for instance, I think I feel that "high" people refer to that they get from drinking. As nerdy as it sounds, I can walk away after writing something feeling lighter, smarter and much more connected to myself. I never saw drinking or doing drugs as a way to get that feeling.

As said before, I love discussing this topic with people. I really don't know; I just don't want to try these things! I see no reason. I have no reason to do so. Because I don't exactly back up my decision with reasons, some people have come to assume that it must do with my "goody two-shoes" image, which I wasn't aware that I evoked, but I apparently do. Oh, well.

People believe that I think I am better than everyone else and therefore judge others my age for partying and doing things because well, I'm better than them because I don't. Peer pressure? It's there. I overcome it by simply standing my ground. I refuse to budge when it comes to anything else I'd do; I'm a very stubborn person, therefore I find it incredibly easy to dust off peer pressure.

No, I simply do not understand the mystique around it; and I'm really not sure I ever will. Call me a "straight-edge," "loser," "stuck-up good two-shoes," whatever you think works best for my situation. I guess I just will never understand.

What do you think? Am I just being a do-gooder? Am I really missing out on something all that great? And why does it bother people that I have no desire to try this? Am I really that strange of a person? :P
I'd love to hear your thoughts.

(Photos Via We Heart It)

92 comments:

UjSen said...

There's nothing wrong if you don't want to try it.

There's nothing wrong with not drinking or smoking.

Now as for me, I drink, I smoke,I've smoked pot on two occassions(one being a music festival)

It's hard to explain....but after two bottles of beer, and a joint, it's almost like every negative feeling left me, Every note that i played on the guitar, the keyboard ,or my tabla sounded 10 times clearer. Your creativity certainly gets a boost.

But then again, drinking to get completely sloshed, is something i never understood.....I've been there yeah, it's fun, but not all the time. It's an escape really....you feel great about yourself.

Anything is good, as long as it's not overdone , and as long as you don't get hooked on to it.

outofthedark said...

I don't think I'm the only one to say this but- I am proud of you!! Like yourself I grew up around peers that didn't always make the wisest decisions and unfortunately continue to do so today. Drugs, sex & alcohol were never attractive to me; they just didn't seem necessary. But as you get older, changes happen and you decide for yourself what it is that you can handle. I know you're intentions aren't to "better" yourself from the person next to you & it doesn't matter if no one believes that so keep at being you :)

Indra said...

Hey.. I too am a 19 year old and like you I too never felt the need to try alcohol or drugs for a very long time. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and i did try alcohol and got a little high.. Once my curiosity was satisfied though, I never felt the need to try it again. Looking at people around me, I realize that often the only reason they drink is because they have nothing better to do or because its the cool thing to do. But having said that, I also believe that there is nothing wrong in having an occasional drink.

Lydia said...

I think you are blessed, plain and simple, to trust yourself the way you do. It's remarkable. What ecstasy to have found your bliss in writing and to recognize it as your bliss.

If you read my profile you know that I have 25 years of sobriety, definitely the best years of my life so far. I was not like you; I wanted to try drinking at 15 even though I was aware that my birth father was an alcoholic. I think I liked playing with fire and I stretched a risky lifestyle into my 30s, drinking excessively, smoking pot (my first husband loved the stuff and it was always around) and in the end moving on to cocaine.

Ten years after I got sober I met the man who is my second husband. He has never had a drink, never has done a drug. He would completely understand your post...and reading your post gives me great insight into him actually! I am grateful for him in my life.

Elise said...

I'm not going to lie, I love the whole kit and kaboodle. Smoking, drinking and drugs (which I try and keep to a limit), but I can't say I'm not jealous of you.

I have my reasons for drinking so much. Whether it sounds like a feeble excuse or not, drinking slows my mind and seems to help my anxiety, while giving me confidence I often lack.

I've always said that I won't try and give up smoking because I enjoy it, but also because I don't want to spend my life craving cigarettes - I rather just have one whenever I feel the need and be satisfied.
You are the lucky one because you won't spend your life trying to satisfy cravings.
You can go to a party and just enjoy the atmosphere and the company. I can't even consider the idea of going out and not abusing some sort of substance. I can no longer enjoy myself without it.

If you are happy enjoying the natural highs of life, don't ever change, you are a lucky girl.

zelda said...

how do i turn off your little ipod thingamajig? i love kiss too, but i'd rather read to my own music.

Ashton King said...

I drink on occasion, but not for the purpose of getting drunk. There are certain drinks that I enjoy, especially with a meal (Italian is the best). My drinking is usually limited to just one drink though. That's not to say that I haven't ever gotten drunk. I have, and although most people look at me like I'm crazy when I say this - I honestly don't like being drunk. It's kind of scary for me, like I have no control over anything that's happening.

Now as for cigarettes or drugs, never touched them. I'm like you in that I've never had the desire to try them. I let loose through other means - writing, playing sports, driving, etc.

In my opinion, there's so much more you could be doing other than smoking/drinking/drugs that's actually worthwhile.

Halima said...

I'm 23 and i think i know what i want and what i don't want!
for me having a drink is not the problem but it should be done with moderation! i take a dirnk only when i feel the need to to taste a new drink that just came out. when go to parties and it's only acohol that is served, i simply don't take.

as for drugs and smoking, just like u, i have never had the desire to want to do them! i see them as a fast track to my grave.
per pressure has gotten me to do a lot of things without me even realising it, but these no way!
i have realised that i shuld do things not because others are doing it but because i choose to!

Anonymous said...

I am type of guy who always curious what the things around me is like. So, I tried smoking when I was only 7. I stole one of my uncle's cigarettes. After that, I never touch any cigarette. One is enough.

gnu said...

there is nothing wrong if you prefer to be yourself, not doing what you dont like. when im teen, i didnt drink or touched the cigarette too.

there is some friend trying to insult me because of that, but i didnt care for what they did, i can still enjoy my teenage and there is noone disputed what im doing.

they will respect for me if i respond for what they did corectly, because they are my friend.

Jenn said...

There's nothing wrong with staying true to who you are...I've done the whole college partying thing (without the drugs) and I won't lie and say it wasn't fun...but looking back, what did it get me? What did it gain? Nothing. Using the time that you would spend on drinking/smoking/doing drugs and pouring it into your writing is a much better use of your time...not to mention that it will make you a better writer. And since that seems to be your ambition, that seems like a much better use of your time!

Brooklyn Book Lover said...

From reading some of your posts I believe that you are a smart girl and have so much going for you. Trying drugs and alcohol will only get in the way of your success. I applaud you for not giving into peer pressure. Stick with your beautiful writing. It will make you much happier than drugs or alcohol ever could. Keep up the good work. :-)

Sarah Certa said...

I know the "high" feeling you get when you write, because I get that feeling too. It's the best.

Jess said...

There is nothing to feel bad about. You don't owe anyone an explanation for the things that you do or do not want to do. Speaking from personal experience, and from the lack of memory of many nights my freshman year of college drugs and alcohol do not really accomplish anything. Temporary lapses from reality and life and the ability to let loose, yes. But in the end it's not as empowering or as enlightening as writing or talking through your feelings and getting to the root cause of reasons why anyone would feel the need to "let loose".

My grandfather told me on his dying bed simple words. They have stuck with me every day since then. He simply said "Stay true to yourself, No matter what!"

You are not a goody two shoes because you stay true to yourself and what you believe. In fact its much more admirable that someone your age isn't all doped up and boozed out.

:-) This was a good blog!

Katie said...

first of all, kudos for sticking to and up for what you believe in!

I used to be "straight-edge" and was very into the no drinking, no drugs, no sex committment it stood for. Eventually I left those ideas behind, not because I wanted to get hammered, be a slut, and get high, but because I realized that I could do those things in moderation and not have them be necessarily bad. Now, this was my personal choice and what I felt was the right decision for me. I think it is WONDERFUL that you still have those same ideals and feel so strong about them. For me it was all about when I felt I was ready to "experiment" and experience those things for myself.

I chose to "break edge" because I felt I could experience the temptations out there and show self restraint and not go crazy and break from my morals. I found a boy I absolutely love and decided it was right for us to take the relationship a step farther. I drink wine more than anything, usually when I'm relaxing after work, and I've been drunk a couple of times at parties and I HATED it. As for drugs, I still have never and will never touch one.

I think the fact that you really believe in the straigh-edge lifestyle and don't see the need to party and lead a reckless life is very admirable. Don't let people get on you about it just because they are ignorant. To lead a full, enlightening, freeing life you don't need to dring/party/do drugs/etc... Live for yourself and stick to your guns. Do what's right for you! And if the time comes that you feel like you're ready to try those things do it responsibley and only what you feel comfortable doing.

*sorry this turned into a book haha.

Jasmine said...

You're not missing anything. And No, I don't think you think that you're too good.

I never was into drugs or alcohol or anything else, either. My first boyfriend got me into drinking and let me smoke my first joint. I got drunk once and was sick and had the worst hang over ever, and I will never drink that much ever again. I have not smoked pot in 5 years. And never will again.


I drink now, yes. However, it's in great moderation. I drink a beer here and there, and I love wine. I have not been drunk in 5 years...and will continue to be that way. And when I have children, there will be no alcohol in my house.

Jasmine said...

You're not missing anything. And No, I don't think you think that you're too good.

I never was into drugs or alcohol or anything else, either. My first boyfriend got me into drinking and let me smoke my first joint. I got drunk once and was sick and had the worst hang over ever, and I will never drink that much ever again. I have not smoked pot in 5 years. And never will again.


I drink now, yes. However, it's in great moderation. I drink a beer here and there, and I love wine. I have not been drunk in 5 years...and will continue to be that way. And when I have children, there will be no alcohol in my house.

Sarah said...

You go girl! I am 19 as well, and have never tried any of these things. I have no desire to. Like you, I prefer to sit and read, or write, or play an instrument. I often find that my cello brings me the greatest joy in life. I used to go to a small college in PA, where it seemed that everyone and their roommate went to a party on the weekend. Usually at one of the sports houses. I never understood the "fun" behind getting smashed, hooking up with someone you barely know, and waking up with a hangover and an STD the next morning. Kudos to you for sticking to what you believe in, and I'm glad I'm not the only "goody-two-shoes"! I'd rather be that over the drunken skank any day!

Great blog you have here! :-)

claire=) said...

I actually do not smoke, drink, or use anything..and I would admit I felt curious as to why people who do these things do it.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with refraining to do these things. Actually, I think it's better to avoid it. But I also don't find fault with people who try such things. They have their own decisions and reasons for doing it.

I admire you for you "let loose" through writing. I see it as a more productive-and really creative-way to channel your thoughts and feelings. :)

You're not strange. Nor are you missing out on something great. Nobody should push you to do what you don't ever want. :)

Live Out Loud said...

What a great post! I didn't have my first drink until I was 22 and I got drunk before I was done with one of those "fruity" bottle alcohol drink things. I never saw the appeal. I have no tolerance for it and didn't enjoy it. I also had the goody-two-shoes image as a teen - still do, actually. Same as you, I just never felt the urge, desire or need for alcohol, drugs or smoking. So much negativity surrounds it, why even enter that world? I got enough drama and confusion out of real life - I needed a clear head to handle it all!
Maybe I was lucky, too. Like you, I love to write and that's what I did before blogs and e-mail and text messages. I just wrote. Journals, stories, anything that called to me. Anything to express myself even if no one read it.

Good for you for wondering about people and asking questions. I majored in Philosophy in college - those papers were fun to write!

Great blog. I'll be back.

Jessi Haish said...

I love all of these responses; your feedback means a lot to me. Each and every response is so eye-opening! So thank you. :)

paranoid android said...

I 100% agree!You're a strong individual, not a "loser" or a "stuck-up goody two-shoes". Don't conform to their idea of "fun" or "an escape," even if it is considered the accepted norm among our age group.

Jacin said...

Hi everyone! I'm a Spanish teenager and I agree with you. Partys are funnier when you haven't to vomite every 2 hours and nobody laughs at you. I've never been drunk, but I've had "to herd drunk friends".
Your blog looks great, I've just discovered it and I'll read it everyday. Fantastic.

Staci said...

I just turned 21 and I have had to field questions about why I didn't go out and get plastered on my birthday. I thought it was annoying that this bothered people when it was my birthday... my choice.

I only really drank when I studied abroad in France, but even then I was uncomfortable with it and drank pretty lightly compared to my friends. It's just not for me. I understand completely where you are coming from. This entry is really refreshing for me, because so many of my friends are all about drinking and getting drunk when they can. I just don't understand what's so great about it, either.

The CivILLian said...

Wow, talk about conservative, lvs.

But no, I wouldn't call you a do gooder at all. I'd say you are unique to yourself for not pressing against the norm. Alot of people do drugs in the first place because someone else is doing it anyway, so for you to lack interest to instead spend time as an escribe adventurist shows that you're building yourself in ways more fundamental than naught. So don't cancel yourself out as "weird" or anything, a person's weirdness is what shapes and humanizes the place.

Laura Leane said...

I'm with you on that! I do drink on occasion (but I'm old enough to drink) and I find that a good glass of wine really opens the door to the locked up emotions that I can really dig into and dump on some paper. I think when you're old enough, a great glass of wine on a Friday night date with your journal will be right up your alley. As for right now, there's no need to feel like you're abnormal for your lack of substance abuse. The idea that you think you're better than users because you don't disrespect yourself in that way is purely their perception because they envy your confidence. They wish they had the strength you have to just say no and be happy in your own way. Take it as a compliment :)

<3 Laura

Grace said...

I think it's great that you are listening to yourself and holding your ground. It's awesome that you get such a high out of writing. That's good to hold on to. I know the feeling a little of what you're talking about, I stopped drinking at drugging when I was 19, in college. A few years have gone by though, and I'm proud of my decision to stop. I think that in a few years, people will start to respect you for your decisions, if they don't already. And one reason I think people have these negative reactions to people who don't drink, is because then they have to look at themselves and question why they drink. People generally don't like change, so it scares them. Just my thoughts, hopefully that made sense.

ThaliaGrace said...

I completly agree with you, but [rats] I'm still in middle school. I, too don't see the need for these things as there are many other ways to "let loose". My favorite is art. After finishing a picture I feel so much better, and way relaxed. Take my advice, don't try anything that you think is dangerous, because it probably is. You go, girl!!!

Jade Bass said...

I can relate, I mean I am 18 and my parents don't even trust me to go out, with my friends they believe that I will do something stupid, and I truely don't know why. My friends consider me to be a Straight-Edge Cookie-Cutter, because I don't smoke, drink, or even have sex.

One of my stupid friends got a D.U.I. recently and that just proved to me that even though being a STriaght-Edge Cookie-Cutter can have its downs at times, I'm happy to be one.

:)

Pirskie said...

you're not weird, you just know where you are and what you want. you know what drugs do and getting drunk and all that, and i agree, i dont see a positive side about it. well yeah you escape life, but its only momentarily, so find other ways to 'escape' you know? you shouldnt dwell on it too much though. love the sincerity of the text :)

Erica said...

Keep on that straight path! You are very talented and have the right attitude. You will be very successful and everyone who does the alcohol or drugs will be on a hard road.

Ashley said...

I'm jealous, proud and refreshed after reading your entry. I am 22 and have been drinking and smoking since my dad left when I was a senior in High School. I could name off a thousand excuses, but the bottom line is...I wish I was as strong as you. I am new to the blogging scene and love yours already - I'm definitely going to be back : )

MissMallory said...

I drink socially, and i think that it is fun. I started drink this year, im 20, but i went through my first two years of school with out trying any of that stuff. I didnt want to do it because it was illegal, and because it influenced people to make bad decisions.

This year, as im approaching my 21st birthday, i am realizing that i want to drink in a safe way so that when i am legal i can hold my liquor and not be a hot mess. but yeah, i understand where you are coming from but i would also like to say, dont knock it until you try it

W. K. S said...

I could really relate to your blog. Great Entry.

Melissa Blake said...

You go, Jessi. I'm 28, and have never smoked or even had one sip of alcohol. And you know what? I NEVER plan on it either. There are too many other things I want to do and be and see, so that sort of lifestyle has just never been appealing at all to me.

The One and Only Roxie said...

Hey there Jessi!

Your latest entry caught my eye and I just felt I had to read. Once upon a time (not that long ago) I was also 19 and had never drank or tried drugs (and I was in community college). I can still say it about the drugs, but what I've found it that I really don't see a point to it. Good for you that you're a different girl, that you get off on the highs of writing and pouring your soul into it. There is a lot of horrible pain in our young world, so good for you that you're sparing yourself some. :)

Stay sassy, girl!

timleo said...

A friend of mine once put the whole infatuation of drinking in one of the best ways I've ever heard:

"I don't know if people realize that they're bragging and obsessing over a beverage. It would be like 'Oh my God, I drank so much f**king chocolate milk last night that I got sick from all the lactose.'"

It's nice to see that more people aren't a part of the "substance scene."

mijxx said...

Your pretty much the same as my brother, he's just turned 18 and just doesnt seem interested in any of that stuff. (In the UK here so 18's legal to drink smoke etc.)

Personally I enjoy a good drink, and being inhibriated sometimes helps me create some amazing things. Recently I found I needed to calm down a bit though, as I ended up a little too drunk one night!

I think people should just do what they like tbh, I mean it shouldnt be an acheivement that you've ,managed not to drink, I mean it is kinda, cause i know there's a lot of pressure, and its hard not to do things when all ur friends are even when they're not pressuring you, just as a case of you feeling left out.

But my point (ater the waffling) is that it shudnt be a big deal not to drink Ive not drank for three weeks and apparently its this amazing thing! No I just didnt drink, not like i ran a marathon or something.

It annoys me a bit that sometimes this is the only way people have to let go... I dunno tis just a real shame.

mijxx said...

Your pretty much the same as my brother, he's just turned 18 and just doesnt seem interested in any of that stuff. (In the UK here so 18's legal to drink smoke etc.)

Personally I enjoy a good drink, and being inhibriated sometimes helps me create some amazing things. Recently I found I needed to calm down a bit though, as I ended up a little too drunk one night!

I think people should just do what they like tbh, I mean it shouldnt be an acheivement that you've ,managed not to drink, I mean it is kinda, cause i know there's a lot of pressure, and its hard not to do things when all ur friends are even when they're not pressuring you, just as a case of you feeling left out.

But my point (ater the waffling) is that it shudnt be a big deal not to drink Ive not drank for three weeks and apparently its this amazing thing! No I just didnt drink, not like i ran a marathon or something.

It annoys me a bit that sometimes this is the only way people have to let go... I dunno tis just a real shame.

Levonne said...

I was twenty two when I had my first alcoholic beverage. A Pina Colada. It was tasty. But at 19, I hadn't tried anything but a cigarette which I hated. You've got the rest of life to do whatever you want when it comes to these things. For now, keep on enjoying what you're enjoying.

Analisa said...

Stand your ground you are not missing a thing by not drinking or trying drugs. You will find at 30 you will look younger and more vibrant than you friends than do it. It is just healthy to avoid them.

This doesn't make you a "goody" it makes you your own person.

Cortney said...

I love that writing high too. It's better then any drug I think. Well at least it's healthier in the long run. (:

I'm so glad I happened across your blog because this post was awesome. I thought I was the only one who never had a desire to try any of that stuff. I'd rather have a "fun" time and be able to remember it afterwards or not put myself into a situation where the consequences could really mess up my life just because I wanted to shrug off the negativity so to speak. I admire your standing up for what you want. That is a rare thing nowadays.

Whiskers1389 said...

I respect your choice and reasoning behind not trying alcohol, smoking, etc., but I feel that personally I'd be missing out on something. Not to say you have to push the extremes, but how can a person make a strong observation and develop an opinion without experiencing it for themselves? Obviously, different people do these things for different reasons, and moderation and control are paramount, but as an "experience" factor alone, I feel one must at least try something, before coming to a fulfilling conclusion about it.

Love the post and keep em coming!!!

Carmen Christtina said...

I love your blog !
i am from norway and i have just started to blog, and i dont really know how i do this, but it would be great if you could give me a " comercial" ? So a few people wpold see my blogg.. :)
-www.thelion-queen.blogspot.com

My Feet Don't Like Shoes said...

I personally am in the same boat with you. I don't feel the need to do drugs in order to love myself, and find it incredibly annoying when people try to say something like 'because it's fun/feels good/just because.' Why should that make you or me a loser?

Aliyah Shine said...

I can completely relate to you! People say that they feel this incredible high when they drink or smoke and I have tried it, but I don't like it at all! I think you can find more positive and safe outlets than drinking or smoking. I have friends who do it and I don't mind them but I just like being aware of my surroundings and being sober. Kudos girrrrl

GaleSRN said...

I happened upon your blog because I wanted to be famous once upon a time. You do not have to do drugs in order to live. they are highly overrated and just make life confusing!! Congratulations on keeping your life clean. The worse thing my generation ever did was to mainstream drugs. It is a major embarrassment of my generation that we were responsible for this. My hope is that YOUR generation can finally put an end to the glamorization of drugs.

Deidra said...

I feel the exact same way you do. I have no desire to drink or do drugs, but I have friends who do and I don't judge them for doing it. :shrug: Guess it's like any other past-time: it appeals to some people and not to others.

Maybe some people don't get this and they think it'll be fun for everyone, and that's why it bothers them that you don't do it?

The Words Crafter said...

I am much older than you are, so I can look a long way back...I admire your decisions-stick to them and don't ever let anyone pressure you into anything you don't feel comfortable doing. I was terrified of drugs. I don't like being out of control...and sure, a good alcohol buzz might make you forget for a while, but you always come down, sometimes sickly, and, unless you like beer, with less money. Plus, it's dangerous out there now. Stuff gets laced with anything...and quite often, those advocating the party lifestyle are either: submitting to peer pressure themselves, or using it as an excuse to do things they wouldn't normally do...I have friends your age...they don't know who they slept with last weekend, or how many people...sad...

nini :D said...

I totally get the high feeling from writing too. I was hoping I wasn't alone :D

katie killjoy said...

I've been there and done about everything there is to do. Honestly, people use this to try to fill holes in their lives. That's what I was doing...but really do those things now at all and I'm a lot happier person.

I have a lot more friends and people who look up to me and think I'm an awesome and fun person. : )

I just started a blog myself! I'm an old school punk, roller derby girl, and just a plain Jane. Anyone check it out if you'd like. : )

Bookish.Spazz said...

Personally I believe that each person has their own way of escaping, whether it be something productive, or not.

The only reason why people pressure others into what they are doing is so that they won't feel wrong, or worse yet, alone.

I'm often accused of being "too good" to do things, so I see where you're coming from.

wandergirl said...

I think it takes a really strong person to stand up for what they believe in especially when there is so much pressure to do this type of behavior. I think there are many different reasons people drink or do drugs. Many people don't understand how to deal with their feelings so they try to drown out the feelings. It became a problem for me and drinking turned me into someone I eventually didn't recognize. I was able to get help buy lucky for you, you have a healthy outlet which is writing! Stay strong, you're an original!

Anonymous said...

do what you think it is best for you..

i don't drink or try drug...

no need to think of this...

stay with original state..

gud luck,see ya....

Mrs. Harer said...

It is not about being a goody two shoes, like everything in life the decision is personal and the reasons don't matter. Good for you choosing this "life style". I happen to think you'll be happier and healthier for it.

ShutterMeShort said...

This is quite the decision for someone of your age! keep it up and the only "losers" are the druggies!

hindustani said...

Jessie, as all have said before, please stick to your identity in its uniqueness & ignore those who tell u otherwise cos those experiences are not worth it, they only detract from ur life. Enrich your life with what you are doing & much more that are readily accesible. You will complete yourself and by all means when you are much older and a working woman u may want to try out some delicious wines with your meals; Stay cool Jess :)

bella said...

i don't think all people who drink, get drunk. when i go to parties, i will usually drink, and i've been drunk but i've never gotten so drunk i've made some terrible mistake, or chundered, or anything of that nature. i have friends for whom this is a weekly occurrence and i've been out with these friends. last time, one girl wrote herself off within the first hour and was passed out until past midnight, when she made a miraculous recovery and rejoined the party in her trackpants. i couldn't give an answer as to why i drink, but i really don't drink often. i think for most people its for social acceptance. i think people feel uncomfortable going to a party full of drunk people and sticking to coke the whole night.
bella

Ashleigh Paige said...

you go girl.... when I your age I was doing all kinds of stupid things, I am lucky I didn't get myself killed. I do feel it's good to experience all life has to offer though. I think if I hadn't done the things I did I wouldn't understand as much about different types of people.
I am happy I did these things, but looking back now I realize I could have done different things. like you I lived in a small town with nothing much to do, but I got sucked in. If I hadn't I never would have met my husband... so I am grateful for my stupidity in that time.
I think it is awesome you do not succumb to peir pressure. You will go far in life with a clear head... unlike so many of us :)

http://spillingmysecrets.blogspot.com

Jessi Haish said...

Wow, I am loving all these perspectives. You are all amazing and thank you soooo much for reading :) <3

Jen said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with it.. :) I've never felt the need to touch drugs or a cigarette, but I do have the occasional drink.

But it's different from the kind of "getting drunk" party mentality you're talking about. I don't get that either to be honest, I just don't see the appeal.

You're not really missing much really, besides a hangover. Drinking is expensive too!

Chrissy said...

Hey, congrats on being noted by Blogger!... being a mom and having a 19 1/2 yr. old son as well as two adult daughters, all i can say is that u write very well and u are very mature for your age... My son did try alcohol back in his early h.s. years. and I know its because of peer pressure. He was at a party and he said others were doing it.. even tho his best friend hadn't... He tried it and never touched it again, nor did he go back to that kid';s house,. See the kid had this party while his parents were in Vegas... dumb parents to leave a kid w/his older brother who btw has a mild affliction... I can understand the high u get from writing... I get it too. I think its a way to release whatever we have inside... You are on the right path. Keep honest, open and stand by your principles... Most of all stay true to you- forget what others may say if they try to sway you...No, u aren't strange, u are ahead of the game!. ((HUGS))
I am adding u. I need to read more positive posts especially from smart unassuming people.

TheUbiquitousKylie said...

Well wow there's a lot of comments here haha!

Honestly, I'm with everyone else in thinking that it's pretty great that you've kept your, as you say 'straight-edge life' over the years. I smoked, drank, had 'massages' with boys, and looking back on it I wish I'd stayed innocent lol.

Though, I gotta say, going through all that non-straight-edge stuff forced me to learn from my mistakes and grow up emotionally and gained maturity, annnd I have some pretty awesome things to show from my idiocy.

I now live the 'straight-edge' life with you. I'm quite content staying in at home watching movies and reading while my friends are constantly out at parties and drinking insane amounts of alcohol and I have no need to join them because now when I see it, I think..."how silly". =D

sunshine said...

an award for you :)

sunshine said...

*on my blog ...i should have said :P

Kristina said...

How can you feel a certain way about something without trying it? You have no idea how great it is to sit around (home, cafe, bar, restaurant) with a friend or two and get silly off of some cocktails. Great times and great memories. Even at 19 it's possible to not binge drink and have a carefree fun time with a few friends. If you think you'll be a binge drinking fool than please by all means- good call on staying away, otherwise, you may (or may not) be missing out... ;)

Anonymous1 said...

I am 16 and live in England so maybe my lifestyle is different to yours, but I have smoked, and drink, but neither of these activites do I partake in regularly. I would try drugs, but nothign hardcore, just weed.
Over here no-one has any problem if you don't smoke or drink or take drugs, its not a big deal, no-one forced me to try these things, it was my own personal choice and I don't see how it would make me any less of a person if I wanted to try things and have some experiences in my life. It's your choice if you don't want to try them.

Prep School Girl said...

This is incredibly impressive. As a student at a boarding school, I know that it is very very easy to fall into that drinking/drug cycle, especially as a high school student. Even though my school has a no chance policy (meaning we would get kicked out if found drinking/doing drugs on campus), drugs and alcohol are all over.

I do, however, find that sometimes the students who are high all the time are the most creative, because they have to find ways to hide their substances that other students have never used before.

However, I am certainly not trying to discourage you from this. I'm just trying to stir up some conversation!

xoxo

John Watson said...

Smart girl. I'm actually going to answer your question in detail on my blog, as I feel strongly on the subject myself.
check out my answer
http://blunderstonerookery.blogspot.com/

ps, I don't think you are crazy....

Letters To No One said...

Nothing wrong with it at all. I'm 21 and recently tried alcohol. It's not that great. Actually, it tastes really bad. I've never done drugs. I tried Hookah last summer... left my chest hurting and me coughing for days.

I commend you for not doing any of it. In all honesty, seeing some facebook photos and also behaviors of others, a lot of it I think is because of attention. They do it for attention, for the drama, and to be like everyone else. They want to seem like they have this crazy awesome life and is living it up. That stuff is surrounded by mess. Boo.

I also have a professor that is well into mid age, plays tennis often, and an M.D. and a Ph.D. and says that she regrets not ever trying anything when she was younger.

There's nothing wrong with trying or doing certain things every so often that doesn't impose long term damage to yourself. It's only a problem when you make a regular habit of it and decide to impose yourself on the world to see your reckless behavior.

Brooke said...

Not only is there nothing wrong, there are a lot of things right with that. Glad to know I'm not the only one. :)

Around the Kitchen Table said...

There is nothing wrong with not drinking and not doing drugs. I could thing of a few good reasons why it is a bad idea.... Health, for one.

Some people will call you names no matter what you do; if you did drugs or alcohol they would just call you something other then "goodie two shoes".

Be yourself ALWAYS.....

Anonymous said...

Jessi,
Thank you for the post! I immediately think of my eight year old daughter when I read this and I pray she surrounds herself with people throughout her life who share your attitude towards drugs and alcohol. I think anyone who has convinced themselves that drugs are "enhancing" their life needs to do some seriously critical evaluation. I am a musician and, in my experience, everything sounds great when your high. Then you listen when your not high and compare. I think the majority of the time, the quality of a straight performance will always eclipse a stoned performance. In short, any experiences I have had with drugs in my life I count as time lost. I have a friend of similar age as me (I'm 42) who, like you, has never touched drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. I find myself being almost jealous of him because as much as we can say we may have missed something by not trying these things, once we make a conscious decision to try something illicit, we can never UNDO that decision. To any one on the fence about getting high, drugs aren't going any where and there will always be an opportunity to get high. But, you only get one shot at saying you never made that decision to cross that line!

That Blond Guy said...

I applaud you. The concept of doing drugs and drinking is so stupid to me. You get the same effect by just spinning really fast in circles, except you don't wake up in the morning with a ruined life.

I was also known in my prison years as a "Goody Ms. Two Shoes," (although I was neither a woman nor one with notable shoes.) But you'll find that in the end, the do-gooders are everyone's favorite person.

Twinklebell Moonbeam said...

Firstly, I really admire your strength when so many people jsut cave in to what everyone else is doing, I really admire that.
But, and I have to ask, DO you not worry that you don't know what you're missing out on?
I do regret things that i've done in my past just because of the curious attitude i have, but now i can look back and say, ok i won't do that again.
Does it not worry you at all?
BUt I do really admire your attitude, like I said, i wish i had that strength, but i;ve developed an awful 'life's too short to not' attitude.
Still, i;ve stopped smoking now :)

JimNero009 said...

I don't think there's anything wrong per se about not trying these things, but I think you should give it a go. Then if you don't see what the fuss is all about afterwards, then you've lost nothing for it but I think you'll feel overall better when you look back. Being young is all about enjoying things like partying with a suicidal amount of alcohol (I'm not saying binge drink! That's what happens when it goes too far the other way...), enjoying that pint after the last of your uni exams. Smoking I stand with you on, however. I've tried it though, of course. Perhaps it's because I'm a scientist and I feel the need to do everything myself and satisfy my own personal curiosity. It's pretty...horrible. So I don't do it anymore - simple, harmless and quite satisfying.
To summarise - try things before you buy things!

Anonymous said...

many folks want to live the small town life - http://rainbarrel.ca/

Lindsey Morrison said...

I found this an interesting topic that you dont really hear regular people talk about. I came from a really small town. We really didnt have anything to do. No bowling alley or movie theatre. Thats probably the main reason for drinking or doing drugs in my town nothing better to do.
Yes Ive tried weed once but I didnt like it and havnt tried drugs since. I do however drink but that was almost inevitable.
I would also just like to say that you are a very good writer.

Hauptmann Deiss said...

What are you getting at here? Are you say that I'm a bad person because I like to drink, smoke and gamble? Is that what you're trying to say here?

Twilight Expressions said...

Hey hi, It was very much interesting to read your post. I felt your quest closer to what I use to do.

Listen, answer which is in your eye to search is in your post only. It is just an act of escapism. Take any instance for its accountability. Don't be meddled up. You know the answers. I can sense it from your writing.

Keep posting.

Gaurav Saluja

Molly said...

I totally feel you. I am 17 and I have never smoked, drank, or done drugs. One word people like to refer to me as is "naive." I hate when people call me that, but it doesn't make it stop. I do not think you are judgmental though. I let people make their decisions...I just choose to make different ones! I enjoyed reading your post a lot, and can't wait for future posts! :D

The Cake said...

yeah, I'm 18 and my story is pretty much the same as yours in this area. I tried a sip of wine that wouldnt make a mouse drunk at a family thanksgiving, and it tasted exactly like liquid vomit. The bullish just isn't worth it.

Sunny Insomniac said...

Bravo on not drinking/smoking while living in a small town! That is quite the accomplishment. I was in the same boat. I'm from a small town in central Texas where the local hangout was the Whataburger (only thing open 24 hours) and Hastings; a book store that had a large, poorly-lit parking lot...across the main street from Whataburger.

In regards to the peer pressure, never stop being as creative as you are. Writing is your outlet - your release. That "high" you were talking about is an actual documented incidence studied by psychologists. They call it "flow," I think. Basically, it means that when you are doing something you're very highly involved with - specifically, something you love – you lose yourself and are not even aware of the passage of time.

Pretty freaking cool.

Anyway, enjoyed the blog. You have another new follower! Have a great Memorial Day and don't let other people's rash judgments alter the decisions you make. It's your life, not theirs.

Happy Blogging!

~Sunny Insomniac

FL Diver said...

There's nothing wrong with not trying alcohol or drugs. For one, it means you have more important things in life than to bother with that. Ironic isn't it that the people who originally started the alcohol drinking as a minor and using drugs were all about getting away from the norm, not being like everybody else, and being themselves. And now the ones who are doing it do it because other people do it, other people think it's cool, so I guess most of them are no longer following the idea of being yourself and not being like others. Kudos to you for being who you want to be and not letting others dictate that for you. Peer pressure is just another form of getting a person to do what others are doing, to follow them, which is the opposite of what THEY were originally trying to do. Gotta be yourself and decide on your own what you will and will not do, and be prepared to deal with whatever happens as a result of your choices.
When I used to work a regular job, now I'm a field tech and work at various locations, I had co-workers who looked forward to the weekend so they could go out and party (get drunk). That was how they enjoyed their weekend and I viewed it as a waste of two days of life. Not my idea of a fun weekend. I prefer to do something I'll remember when the weekend is over.
Be you or you will not be happy.

Dave Rotherham said...

I just came across this blog at random,and something about your piece resonated.
On the whole, I am basically what you call a "straight-edge". However, I am not a teetotaller. Alcohol is a very unreliable friend, though.
When I was 19, I too was a wannabe star. And not making enough progress to get any satisfaction out of it. But I didn't have the writing as a creative outlet in those days. These days I blog, and write lots of letters to my local newspaper, and it is a satisfying outlet. And my dreams have shrunk to fit the size of my musical career - open mic nights and home recordings on esnips, myspace and youtube. Better still, I am a husband and father now. So I drink a glass or two some evenings and none others and that is enough, because I have a happy life.
But, when I was 19, I was lonely and creatively frustrated and my parents were breaking up and I was quite unhappy. So it was easier to enjoy myself with the real world hazed out by whiskey. I hung out with drug takers, but drew the line at drink for myself. Alcohol has wrecked my brother's life and ended my father's, but I never had that inner darkness that lets it take over.
You already have inner happiness: It shows in your writing, it shows in your face. If your head is a nice place, it is not worth getting out of it. It is a waste to get wasted when you are enjoying life anyway. Stay true to yourself, instead.

aurpera said...

When I read this post, I just felt this was written by myself because that's exactly the way I feel about partying and getting high. I don't think it's wrong, but I have never had any desire to try it.

WyldeSage said...

Hi there... just came across your blog and I love it! There is nothing wrong with not smoking, drinking or doing drugs...its great that you dont. I have only occasional drank, and thats it. Peer pressure is ridiculous and sad. When people pick on you for the things they do, its just a reflection of themselves, wanting to be that way. Your young and these friends will not be in your life forever...you only want people who reflect yourself around you and make you happy. If people try to tell you to do things, then they really arent your friends.

Isabell said...

This post was amazing! :) I really like the way you write!

J.Hall said...

It's funny because I'm looked at like a "straight edge", and I have smoked pot ten times exactly. I finally tried it after a little push and a lot of curiosity and after those ten times, I realized that people make it seem a lot better than it really is. I actually got kinda bored with it and stopped.

Hannah E. said...

Ohhey. So I'm still in high school, but none the less, I'm right with you. Grew up in a small town, etc. etc. etc. But I sit at home on weekends and watch Disney movies, rather than getting plastered. I've seen a lot of what drinking and drugs to do a person - long term, that is. A friend of mine's father is an alcoholic, and out of respect for that upstanding man, I don't have any desire to drink.

To be honest, my friends are retarded when they're under the influence. The lies they tell, the people they kiss, it's all stupid. Why do something and say you're having fun when you're acting like an idiot and you can't remember anything?

Writing is my natural high too. I hate not writing for a long time, but afterwards, this huge feeling of accomplishment...ness fills me and I feel so much better than any drug or drink or sex can do.

Thanks for sharing your perspective. It's nice to know there's some others out there that are cool like me. (:

mollie said...

I drink and smoke, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little less. But it was interesting to me to read this post and some of the comments and find that I relate to them so strongly.

Though I don't abstain from these substances, I have decided to take on a year (or more if at the end of the year I decide to stick with it) of celibacy. This is not a religious choice, I did not have a particularly traumatic experience that brought this on. I just feel like my quality of life and the quality of my relationships are better when sexual activity is taken out of the equation.

It's interesting how other people can't seem to see why someone might simply not want to partake in these popular aspects of the common college lifestyle. It also seems interesting to me how for our generation these activities that for another time may have been considered rebellious or taboo are now the default in terms of how we are expected to act. Doesn't it seem strange how we have to explain "no, I don't have sex, drink, smoke." When those who do aren't generally expected to state those intentions that really they should be verbally consenting to?

Tansy said...

I love being straightedge. It makes me feel confident in myself because i don't need anything to make me let loose and let roll. I'm also clumsy enough as it is so adding a few beers probably wouldn't be a good idea.

I get drunk off life. Let the experiences I have and the people I'm with lift me up and let go of my worries.

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