I've always been indecisive when it comes to relationships and love. The guy I'm currently with, my amazing, spectacular boyfriend? I had a rough time coming to terms with the fact that I actually had feelings for him because that meant it could potentially end with the beginning of a relationship: something I'm no Einstein at. It freaked me out to think I could be that close to someone.
However, before I had realized how I felt about him, I had gone out on a date with another guy just to see how things went. Just a carefree date. Needless to say it was a terror of date, the Date From Hell, with him breathing cigarette smoke on me, and after watching a movie together complaining the entire ride home how terrible it actually was. The entire ride home.
Apparently he was interested in me, though. And although I had denied my soon-to-be-boyfriend many times (fear of being in a relationship) that date from Hell with the Date From Hell made me realize that I was crazy about this other guy. And I felt terrible.
I had to lie to Date From Hell to get him to stop pursuing me. I told him it was nice to hang out, but I just wanted to be friends and I wasn't looking for a relationship. (Well, not with him anyway.) Then I told Current Boyfriend how I felt (deeply) and that I was dumb for holding off on being with him because I was silly and nervous. Everything has been beautiful and uneventful in that department until last night.
For some reason, I had completely forgotten to delete Date From Hell's number from my phone. My cousin, a freshman in high school, has the same name, and I text him sometimes. My cousin now has a girlfriend and we've been talking about doing a double date.
So I text my cousin saying, "we definitely have to go on that double date as soon as you're done with school!"
"oh what? hahahhah where with who? was that text supposed to be sent to someone else? i am confused..."
"no, that was for you! remember? we're going out! all four of us!"
"for me? i am not currently dating anyone. hah. funny."
Then I'm thinking in my head, oh my gosh, it's my cousin's first little relationship and he's been dumped. Oh no.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! What happened? Why aren't you two together?"
Then that's when it hit me. I wasn't texting my cousin; I was texting Date From Hell, the boy of the same name. $#!+. Oh my gosh. How embarrassing; and it most likely came off as a low blow. I apologize, saying I clicked the wrong name.
"Hahahah, I knew it! I was like uhh, do I have a girlfriend now?"
I'm mortified. I went out with this guy and denied him, and now it looks like I'm implying that we should go out on a double date -- oh wait, you're still single, Date From Hell. Shoot.
Then the conversation gets awkward as I fumble a text apology and he asks how me and my "mannnn" are getting along. I say fine, trying to end the conversation.
It doesn't work that way.
"Sweeeeet how have you been lately? We have not talked lately. And I apologize for grabbing your hand when we watched that terrible, terrible movie." (I told you he complained about that movie a lot.)
Needless to say, I didn't reply. But it's moments like these that make me wonder what the hell I'm thinking most of the time. I mean, the fact of the matter is, if I had not endured Date From Hell, I would not have realized that I was truly and utterly head over heels for someone else -- someone who has been the perfect boyfriend. Someone who has made the past few months some of the happiest of my life.
Sometimes you have to endure ridiculous, awkward, almost painful experiences to realize what's been right in front of you all along. I guess you could say that's the moral of the story; that and delete phone numbers when you're done with them.
Photos Via (We Heart It)