Tuesday, June 01, 2010

The Day My Awkwardness Level Went Through the Roof.

I've always been indecisive when it comes to relationships and love. The guy I'm currently with, my amazing, spectacular boyfriend? I had a rough time coming to terms with the fact that I actually had feelings for him because that meant it could potentially end with the beginning of a relationship: something I'm no Einstein at. It freaked me out to think I could be that close to someone.

However, before I had realized how I felt about him, I had gone out on a date with another guy just to see how things went. Just a carefree date. Needless to say it was a terror of date, the Date From Hell, with him breathing cigarette smoke on me, and after watching a movie together complaining the entire ride home how terrible it actually was. The entire ride home.
Apparently he was interested in me, though. And although I had denied my soon-to-be-boyfriend many times (fear of being in a relationship) that date from Hell with the Date From Hell made me realize that I was crazy about this other guy. And I felt terrible.

I had to lie to Date From Hell to get him to stop pursuing me. I told him it was nice to hang out, but I just wanted to be friends and I wasn't looking for a relationship. (Well, not with him anyway.) Then I told Current Boyfriend how I felt (deeply) and that I was dumb for holding off on being with him because I was silly and nervous. Everything has been beautiful and uneventful in that department until last night.

For some reason, I had completely forgotten to delete Date From Hell's number from my phone. My cousin, a freshman in high school, has the same name, and I text him sometimes. My cousin now has a girlfriend and we've been talking about doing a double date.

So I text my cousin saying, "we definitely have to go on that double date as soon as you're done with school!"

"oh what? hahahhah where with who? was that text supposed to be sent to someone else? i am confused..."

"no, that was for you! remember? we're going out! all four of us!"

"for me? i am not currently dating anyone. hah. funny."

Then I'm thinking in my head, oh my gosh, it's my cousin's first little relationship and he's been dumped. Oh no.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! What happened? Why aren't you two together?"

Then that's when it hit me. I wasn't texting my cousin; I was texting Date From Hell, the boy of the same name. $#!+. Oh my gosh. How embarrassing; and it most likely came off as a low blow. I apologize, saying I clicked the wrong name.

"Hahahah, I knew it! I was like uhh, do I have a girlfriend now?"

I'm mortified. I went out with this guy and denied him, and now it looks like I'm implying that we should go out on a double date -- oh wait, you're still single, Date From Hell. Shoot.
Then the conversation gets awkward as I fumble a text apology and he asks how me and my "mannnn" are getting along. I say fine, trying to end the conversation.
It doesn't work that way.

"Sweeeeet how have you been lately? We have not talked lately. And I apologize for grabbing your hand when we watched that terrible, terrible movie." (I told you he complained about that movie a lot.)
Needless to say, I didn't reply. But it's moments like these that make me wonder what the hell I'm thinking most of the time. I mean, the fact of the matter is, if I had not endured Date From Hell, I would not have realized that I was truly and utterly head over heels for someone else -- someone who has been the perfect boyfriend. Someone who has made the past few months some of the happiest of my life.

Sometimes you have to endure ridiculous, awkward, almost painful experiences to realize what's been right in front of you all along. I guess you could say that's the moral of the story; that and delete phone numbers when you're done with them.

Photos Via (We Heart It)


Dolly said...

I can sympathize. That was definitely a cringe-worthy moment though

Bookish.Spazz said...

Man that sucks! Lesson learned though right?

V said...

OMW! Sometimes I do that when I sms someone LOL!! Although I've never had it that bad...
I must say I did have a good giggle at the mis-texting part!
But all things happen for a reason, even small insignificant things ;)
Which reminds me! I will now delete some numbers from MY phone! LOL

SaSa said...

Oh my gosh in my eyes your love life sounds like a soap-opera... :D But I like it, though! and you know, everybody has to learn his lessons even on a hard way... ;)

lovise said...

check out :)

Emilia said...

hahahahahaha! oh dear. This sounds like something i would do. I love bad date stories. i am pleased it helped you work things out though. What was the film by the way?

Sunny Insomniac said...

Jessi, I loved this post. But I am so emotionally confused right now. I feel bad for you (humiliation-suck!), I feel happy for you (love-yay!), and I am trying really hard not to laugh out loud at this story (hahahahahahaha!). I know it was really embarrassing, but you handled it better than you think, and there's nothing like laughing at yourself to ease a troubled mind.
Humiliation is your reaction, not theirs. So you can always change it.
Write on.
*groan* (Sorry about the pun. It was unintentional, but then I couldn't bring myself to delete it.)
~Sunny Insomniac

Melissa Blake said...

Oh, Jessi -- you and I have so much alike! :)

Chrissy said...

hey, we all have done that... no biggie... now u learned your lesson.. i remember dating someone just to see if i were truly over the current one and no, i wasn't in fact i felt like i was cheatin...yep u learned ur lesson: DELETE ALL EVIDENCE! LOL

Little Miss Random said...

I know exactly how you feel, I did the same thing, it was soooo embarrassing!!!! LOL :D

Kyle "Danger" Jacobson said...

I feel like I need to go have a terrible date now. I really enjoy your way of writing, by the way.



The One and Only Roxie said...

I always delete phone numbers I don't use. I'm paranoid about something like that happening. But I always seem to get random texts from old guy friends to the tune of " a man in your life right now?" It's so awkward. I say, "Yes. My dad." and somehow charmingly end the convo. :/

Jessi Haish said...

Haha thanks for sympathizing, everyone :) Love the idea, Roxie!

ButtonPom said...

Oh gosh I HATE those awkward moments :/
This post did make me laugh though, thankyou :)


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