If you're reading this, I obviously posted it. Knowing that people are reading this is making me blush. But honestly, this blog is a creative outlet for me. I'm honest; I'll admit to that. Your kind words on my honesty may have fed this desire to speak honestly. But I've been on the fence about posting on this. But lately I'm at a point. Why not?
To everyone who wants to know (the person who flat-out asked me on formspring) to everyone that doesn't care to know, here's a disclaimer: yes, I am a virgin.
Is this too far? I've 'bragged' about being a straightedge and ranted about how writing, of all things, gets me 'high.' But once I say I'm a virgin, does that change anything? Does it alter your perspective of me? Do you commend me for not falling to the pressures of being a teen or do you snicker and now acknowledge me as a full-blown goody-goody?
Do what you must. I'll wait.
I'm not a religious or not religious person, so it has nothing to do with that. I'm not even necessarily waiting til I am married. It just...hasn't happened. I suppose I'm not at that time and place where these things will come together, so to speak. And I'm absolutely content with it.
Why even post this? Is it important? I think so. I'm not here to flaunt the fact but rather the point is that in this society where high schools are literally bursting at the seams with Juno-pregger types, I've found it to be refreshing to find teenage girls that are virgins and completely fine with it. I admit to being in a group that feels like a "minority," whether or not that may be the case. It's not so much that I'm proud of being a virgin, but instead that's just the way it is and I don't feel any certain way about it, good or bad. It's nice actually, to have no certain feelings about it as of now.
It's a part of life. Everyone can relate. While I may not be on the same page as everyone else, I firmly believe that it will happen when the person and time is right. This may come before or after marriage, here or there, I really don't know. Maybe I'll just know when it's here. Maybe I'll never know.
But the point is, just like Aerosmith, straightedgedness, journalism or Slurpees, it's something that defines me. The fact that I'm a virgin is something that makes me who I am today. I'd like to think that I contemplate things more than most; I'm more than your typical overthinker. Honestly, I'm a virgin and that's the way it is for now. So why does it feel like I'm one of few, that at almost twenty years old and not having this experience, I'm "out of the loop?" It's not that I want to feel in the loop, it's just that I don't understand how as a society we have reached a point where I'd even feel the need to mentally debate how 'different' I am....even if that's just the way I want to be.
Photos Via (We Heart It)