Sunday, July 11, 2010

It's Complicated.

Love is the one thing that will always have us: it's good, it's bad, it's neither here nor there. As much as we may try to understand it, we are always assured that we never will.

Lately, the complexity of the simple four-letter word has been everywhere. Whether it's the new Twilight movie telling me that you can love more than one person at once, or friends attempting to convince me that you never get over your first love, I tend to get a little skeptical about the basis of it all. I know the idea of it is there, I know that it exists, but what about when it goes wrong?

Do people really love more than one person at once? Does everyone always hold a 'special place' for their first love? Or worst of everything I've heard lately, do you really never get over anyone?

I think that it is situations and ideas like these that make the idea of love complicated, not the actual love itself. When love is love, it's nice. But what about when you decide to add the side order of drama? The complicated-ness? What happened to good, clean fun, and why is everything so complicated????

And do you really not get over anyone? Ever? Eeeek.

Photo Via (We Heart It)


Molly said...

Oh my goodness...I have felt the exact same way lately. Especially after I saw Eclipse, I was like OHHH MY GOSH. And it is definitely enough to confuse anyone. I'm in the same boat as you...wondering about all this stuff.

AlyRose said...

I just have to say that I really enjoy reading your blog, and this post is really interesting :) It's funny how over the past decade or so, the word "I love you" has gotten tossed around so much and "love" itself has so many different meanings. Its crazy!

But I think when it all comes down to it, love itself really isn't all that complicated; I personally believe that people make it complicated. If people were honest with themselves about what they wanted and what they felt they needed (when it comes to love) then it wouldn't be all that complicated. That's just my take on it.

Megan said...

I have a question... how do you use pictures from we heart it? i have created an account and chosen a picture... I just can't figure out how to place it in a blog post. :l

XeL said...

I don't know about never getting over someone. I think I've accomplished at least that much with at least one person in the past. What I think is true though is that you carry around a part of that person and vice versa possibly forever. That's why it's so important to pick the right people to date and be around; they stick with you even after they're gone because they're a part of your past. But I sincerely, sincerely, sincerly HOPE that one can "get over" someone else or else I'm screwed, haha!

Levonne said...

Love is less complicated now in my life than it was earlier, partly because I expect and accept it to be multifaceted. That's the nature of the beast. But it doesn't have to be a big mystery.

thevictorio said...

I actually had a conversation with a friend regarding these exact same questions. I'd tell you some of the conclusions we came to, but I think it would be best for you to get dialogue on it. Talk it out with your friends and decide for yourself what you believe. :)

(Also, God is love, and love is real.)

Keda said...

it's really as easy as making a choice. Some people live in the past. Always wishing for the past, high school, etc. It becomes harder to get over someone or let go of your first love and the absolute amazement that a new love can bring you, when you live like this. (I can honestly say that my first love was ok, but he was never the man I needed to be with forever, and that I can only say NOW).

I really think that when we let go of the things in our past, learn and grow, we allow for so much to be able to come our way.

Form a personal point of view: I believed with the first 3 heartbreaks that I would never love again and it was all to hard and no one would ever love me, blah blah blah (rather boo hoo hoo) added to this that the guy I had a crush on never liked me eventhough I was convinced we would be perfect together. Today I have been in 3 long term (2yrs, 6yrs, and 8 yrs) relationships and 5 shorter ones in between or round and about, I am married and extremely perfectly happily so (the 8 yr relationship, married for 2.5yrs).

What I realised is that it's all about love, in all it's many forms. Don't buy into the propaganda that it needs to be a certain way. Some people love one person forever, some many over a life time. Don't decide. Just go with the flow and what is right for you. And when relationships falter or break, grieve and have a good cry. But know this from the core of your being: Each relationship end will bring something only better until you find the perfect match. And it will be perfect. You don't have to settle for fine. It will be perfect, and sometimes even many times so.

Enjoy it all. It's what we're here for. No one ever said you had to settle for it all working one specific way.

Sunshine said...

The funny thing is, before I looked on your blog today. I was just thinking somewhere along the same lines of you. as always everythings starts with "There's this boy" but the sentence rarely ends in anything good anymore. Everywhere I step there's peices of a broken heart on the floor and most of the time its because people can't let go. But I sympathize with them because i know there pain being that I am in a similar situation. Anyway I think the best thing for all of us to do is simple; un-complicate it.

Molly said...

Eclipse left me totally spellbound. Especially as Bella's relationship with Jacob developed into something a lot more complex. I think it is possible to love more than one person. I felt a tugging feeling inside when she finally kissed Jacob because I just thought it looked so beautiful, and was a gorgeous step forward for the characters. One of my best guy friends and I have a bit of a history, and it raised new questions for me about it. I loved the film, because it addressed love in a way which other films don't. Unrequited is the cruellest form of love, but unfortunately it is the most common.

Anonymous said...

I agree. Love is such a powerful word but it's changed so much!

Anonymous said...

Too true. I can relate.

Erica said...

Here's my take on love, I may be wrong but here it goes:

1. There's no such thing as a soul mate. There's only the person that you can get along with and try to love the best.

2. You never, ever get over you first love (if it was a good one)

3. Yes, it's possible to love two people. But you can never love them the exact same and they can't both love you the exact same way either. That's why you have to pick. Picture it like this, if you had to save only from a sinking ship...that's the one you love more.

4. You never "stop" loving someone. You just transfer that love to a part of your heart and store it away so no one gets hurt.

Deidra said...

The questions you pose are really good ones. I've wondered a lot of the same things.

I think the biggest part of the problem is that our culture goes so crazy over the idea of romance. Why does romantic love have to be so different from the love you have for friends and family? It feels different in some ways, but the most basic ideas are the same: you care about the person, you want what's best for them, seeing them happy makes you happy, you love to spend time with them, you appreciate them for being who they are, etc.

In the end, I think love, at its most basic level, is that simple.

albi said...

I've only just latched onto your blog, so I'm reading your old posts first! :)

Anyway, your post reminded me of a song I love by Xhelazz (Spanish rapper) called Soledad, but in particular: "ningún amor muere sólo cambia de lugar en la memoria" **no love dies, it only changes place in one's memory**.

Ultimately I think love is what you make it, whether it be romantic, motherly, sisterly, spiritual, etc. :)


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