Pages

Monday, July 12, 2010

Late Night Thought: Emoooootions.

Yesterday in my sociology class, we were discussing communication in committed relationships. Crazy stuff, but interesting nonetheless. Then, my teacher dropped a bomb on the class. This is what she simply wrote on the board:

No one can MAKE you feel anything.
You choose how you react.


Wait, what?!

She went on to talk about communication in relationships and how when we say "he made me so mad," or "she makes me so angry," we actually couldn't be more wrong. No one wanted to believe it, but it is incredibly logical. Others aren't forcing us to be sad, pissed, or even happy. They can do whatever they want. They can say whatever they want. They can act however they want. What really matters is how we take it and what we take from it. We feel emotions towards people because that's how we chose to react. She said that it is our responsibility to OWN our feelings and take responsibility for them. No more blame game, in simple terms.

Needless to say, the class struggled to accept this. It's an interesting idea, but must don't want to believe it. It's just so much easier to say that another person MADE you feel a certain way as opposed to saying you let it happen to you...

Photo Via (We Heart It)

13 comments:

Sara said...

Sociology teachers ROCK! :)

Erica said...

Incredibly true

Keda said...

Oh, definitely. People like playing the blame game, it's just easier to let things happen to you than to take responsibility. Most of the time you feel a certain way when someone tells you something it is because of a connection with some past event, your own personal issues.

To prove the fact, just try and tell 2 people the same thing. you will never get the same reaction. Which means our emotions are our own doings, connections, assumptions and stories.

We choose, therefore we are.

claire said...

yes, that's true. even though there's this annoying person who keeps bugging you the whole day, you won't be bugged not unless you give in. so in short, we ourselves are the only ones responsible for our own feelings. :)

Ashton King said...

That's actually, interestingly enough, a way to "avoid" arguments. Instead of saying, "you made me feel such-and-such" you should say something along the lines of, "when you say/do this I feel such-and-such." I actually learned that from my speaking coach, LOL.

Strawberry said...

When I had first learned of this I too was in shock. But once you accept the fact it can turn your whole life around; am glad your teacher's spreading the word!

Becky said...

I had never thought of it that way before, but it is true. We're the ones winding ourselves up and blaming them, when we should just take control of the situation. Emotions do that though, it's easy to think of this in theory but when someone says something we're most like to respond emotionally rather than rationally!

little miss sunshine said...

Your teacher is right! If you want more of the same..read a book called the Four Agreements. It will change your life :)

Teresa said...

Your teacher has wisdom. We choose our attitude. Once we learn what our stress points are we can learn to control our reactions. It doesn't mean we don't still "feel" upset, angry, etc, but we can learn how to communicate so that the outcome of the conversation/interaction is the best we can make of it.

Nicole said...

interesting idea.

This sorta ties into my belief that we can choose to be happy in relationships and they aren't just happy naturally.

Molly Macpherson said...

That's an interesting idea and it makes perfect sense. I'll have to remember it next time I'm feeling down: no one can change it but me!

V said...

Makes me think of "we cant ever change what happens to us BUT we CAN choose how 2 react to it"
there is always that how will i option regardless if its unconsciously!!! And agree you cant play blame games... Blaming means you not taking responsibility for the part you play.

violet strattenfield said...

Yeah. This is so good. I totally agree!

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails