Friday, July 30, 2010

Role Models.

When we were younger, our role models may have included the firemen and policemen, our parents, and our favorite celebrity. As we aged, they may have included rock stars, teachers, or our grandparents. Today, our role models may be people that have always done 'right' in our eyes. People that do things that we want to do and strive for things that we admire and would like to achieve. But what if our role models aren't.....role models?

When I was younger, I used to admire and idolize my role models. But as I'm getting older and experiencing more things, I've found I'm learning a lot more from the people I don't want to be. I guess you could say they are my non-role models, but I look to them more often than my positive role models.

I have one particular person I look to. This person is someone I never want to grow to be like. In my mind, this person is just at a point where they're struggling and quite honestly in my eyes aren't doing anything right. I look to them to see everything I don't want to be and can work to do things differently from that person. Is that twisted or what?

I guess sometimes it's just easier to find bad influences as opposed to good ones. But if we can watch these bad influences from a distance, determine it as 'bad' and learn lessons from what we call their mistakes, that's okay right?

Who are your role models? Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of great influences in my life. But I know that I can learn just as much, if not more, from the people I don't admire, as soon as I discover why I don't admire them. Have you learned to see the worst in some and learn from what they do? I know these non-role models will continue to teach me for the rest of my life.


Brooklyn Book Lover said...

My "non-Role Model" is my brother. He is a drug addicted lying, thief who has three beautiful children but doesn't support them.
I guess I learned a good lesson from him because I am opposed to drugs and drinking, I am a wonderful mother(if I do say so myself!)to my two kids and I believe in being kind to people, not stealing from them.

Marissa Hawkins said...

Good point. A non-role model is helpful, if they help us take a look at what we could change in ourselves.
I think we need both :)
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" -- Jesus
At least for me, seeing things I don't like in others sometimes slaps me in the face as a reflection of some weak part of my own character.
Interesting post.

Erica said...

Interesting. I never had role models growing up. I wish I did though. I just knew what I wanted to accomplishment and found the strength to do it. A lot of those non-models you are talking about have had a lot of trouble dealing with hard times I think. If you ever examine let's say a drug addict's life, most of the time (not always), there are a lot of missing pieces (family, love, etc). Mostly there is a lot of pain associated with these non-models.

Erica said...

I meant accomplish, lol :)

Henna said...

My not-really-role-model-material person is my own Dad. But you know what's the issue? As much as I try NOT being like him, every single moment I'm changing into a photocopy of him, I mean as a person. There are some things you just cannot avert your eyes away from.

David Rotherham said...

Yes; I have been shaped as much by bad examples to avoid as good ones to copy, too. From taking a different approach to family life from my father to staying away from the drugs that many of my favourite musicians were slaves to.

TheTweedz said...

I really love this post simply because it plays true to my life. I have a lot of family members as well as outsiders that our "non-rolemodels" as you put it. I have learned to become a better person just by watching them do wrong. I thank them just as much as I thank my realy role models.

kaciilee said...

i agree with this completely. i have non role models, and i dont think its twisted at all. its healthy to know the type of person you dont want to turn into.

claire said...

I hated one of my cousins for so long. Actually, the whole family had been hating her too, because she hates us as well. I bet she thinks we are the ones who made her life doomed. But I think living with her under one roof taught me to be more patient and to tolerate all that she's doing to us. She's my non-role model in the sense that I learn something good from her bad actions.


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