Location: Composition Book
I just woke up from a fantastic, terrible dream. It was beautiful; crisp and clear and basically flawless. He and I looked like ourselves, sounded like ourselves and acted like ourselves. It was really the most perfect dream I've ever had. And it completed tortured me. I literally woke up feeling happy, tortured, and completely frozen. I haven't talked to him in two years (actually almost two years to the DATE) and yet I feel like I'm never going to be able to move on.
I thought I was stronger than this, but I'm becoming aware of how vulnerable I really am - all to his memory. Because I don't have anything tangible left to hold onto. He's never loved me -- that's what it feels like anyway -- and yet that vivid dream hit me like a train.
It was a last get-together senior year, one that never actually existed, mind you, and he talked to me. As soon as we talked in the dream, everything was right. We left together and rode around in some red truck - it has to be symbolic of something. He had the same look in his eyes as when he first kissed me, but nothing happened between us.
It was simply perfect.
It didn't even have one of those terrible cliff-hanger endings. I simply woke up. Then, reality set in and it really hurt. It really hurt to realize that he didn't want me. That he's not with me. That we don't even speak.
As foggy as our ending is to me, I feel like I need him in my life.
I've never felt that way about anyone before.
I feel like I need those feelings from the dream in my reality.
Photo Via (We Heart It)