This new guest post is brought to you by my best friend Hannah; a fellow writer and newspaper staff-er. She is one of my favorite bloggers and one of the most vivid writers I know. Don't forget to submit your guest posts to firstname.lastname@example.org. Check out Hannah's Open Letter...to Cupid.
It's not funny. This constant need to want to talk to him, spend time with him; you're torturing me. It isn't possible and things are way too complicated right now, so please stop tugging on my heart strings like I'm an instrument at your disposal. I'm not playing any sweet songs, just let it go. You've been at this for five years now with the same guy and sometimes I'd like time to breathe.
How about we call a truce? You stop slowly killing me with the desire to hear his voice tonight, and I'll stop blaming you for all the horrible choices you've thrown at me in the past. Deal? Because I can't stand another night knowing how alone I truly am. I can't stand another night thinking about how I can't say 'I love you'.
You made me cry last night, you know. That's an awful thing to do. I hate having to hold everything in until I'm sure no one will see me. What am I supposed to say when people ask what's wrong? Tell them I'm in love and it's normal? Because it's not. Nothing is normal about this. Why can't we be normal? Why can't I be like the couples my friends get to be? Why can't I call him up and make plans for milestone marks in our relationship? Why can't we take cute couple photos? Why can't I get in an argument with him face-to-face?
I keep replaying that second day in my head when he visited me a few weeks ago. I didn't want to leave. I hugged him and held on for dear life, which turned into dancing without music. It's as sickly sweet as it is in the movies. Even if he picked me up and swung me around way too fast afterwards just to freak me out. I don't think there's a more perfect memory I've ever had.
So thank you for finally, after five long years, giving us this wonderful, amazing, spectacular thing. But screw you for seperating it with 189 miles.