Hahahah. I thought I was two years OUT of high school, not two years in.
But, you know. It wouldn't be my life without drama, would it? If only I could fix that. But I think that trying to stop the drama would only cause more.
So sometimes it hits me hard. Sometimes it arrives at my doorstep with a punch to the gut. The waterworks come. The panic phone calls and texts scatter out on their ways. Then slowly, I come back together, piece by piece.
That whole deal of "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger?" Makes me want to kill whoever thought of that. Because I'm supposed to use it and run with it. I'm supposed to be taking these experiences and learning from them. Gaining things from them.
And I do. It's just that after so many years, I'd like the learning to stop for just one day.
I fully realize that life is all about making mistakes, picking yourself up and being something better because of it. But what about when you're in the moment and it just hurts? No one ever knows what to do then.
You're just sorta stuck.
The drama hurts, people. I sometimes wonder why it feels like these things are on the prowl for me. I can wearily grin, thinking of all the lessons I'll probably pick up, but it gets old. When you get the wind knocked out of you three, four times in a row, you just want to gasp for it to stop. Maybe you're at the point where you're on your knees, crying. Just wanting to know why things keep happening.
I don't hold all the answers. I know I hold a lot of questions. I know that these things always pass. I know that I'll emerge from the dust within time, and I'll be fine, if anything just a little loopy. But when do I get a break? When will the day come that people realize that I'm not that interesting to be picked apart and I should be left well enough alone?
Photo Via (We Heart It)