Monday, November 22, 2010

An Open Letter to my high school "Gossip Girl"

I've never even seen the show "Gossip Girl," you know that? So when I heard my junior or senior year of high school that there was a "Gossip Girl" from my high school on MySpace...I didn't think anything of it. I didn't think anything of you because I didn't know what you were doing. I shrugged it off.

Then, I sat down in my newspaper class's computer lab one afternoon. It was a normal day, really. I was all set to start designing a page when everyone else came in, talking loudly and enthusiastically.

"Have you read Gossip Girl's page today?"
"Can you believe what she said about so-and-so?"
"Do you think that's true?"
"It HAS to be true!"

I have no idea what you were writing, Gossip Girl. But you knew how to get attention, even if you were anonymous. You knew how to stir things up. I hate to admit it, but you were great at it.

So I asked around. Being someone who was never allowed to have Instant Messaging let alone a MYSPACE, I asked around trying to figure out what the deal was. I found out you had started a MySpace page where you posted rumors about people at our high school. More often than not, it was directed at the females. And you certainly weren't writing anything nice.

It was alarming to know that this was happening, but I didn't care. I didn't have a MySpace, so what did it matter to me? The class was asking if they could write an editorial about you. I didn't care. But the principal did, and it never ran. I forgot about it.

That is, until one day you decided to post something about me. Little old Jessi, who sat in the newspaper lab for hours everyday after school and pretty much kept to herself. What did I do to deserve this honor of being featured on this page?

Nothing. I didn't even know about it until it had been up for a few days and one of my friends informed me that it happened. He showed me the page and I started crying. There was my name, with a list of my male classmates, whom I had apparently done 'favors' for. This couldn't be any further from the truth. I hadn't even had my first kiss until I was seventeen! Where would someone come up with something like this?!

You made it up. And I could sit there and stare at the outright lie but it didn't do anything. I couldn't change the fact that the majority of the school had seen it. I couldn't change the fact that it was there on the Internet; I couldn't delete it or say that it wasn't true. When was the truth going to emerge and set me free?

But it never did. It just remained on the site and I eventually let it go. I really don't know what ended up happening with the entire situation. I really don't care to know.

You weren't the first to spread complete lies about me, and unfortunately I know that you won't be the last. It's bound to happen, especially since I've been living in my own world in which I am content in... it seems to make me an attractive target for things like this to happen.

I didn't ask for it, and I don't know why you did it. I don't know who you are, and I don't know what you got from it. But all I can say is, I hope it made you happy. I hope you got whatever it wanted. If anything, it gave me a thicker skin, even though I wasn't asking for one, and I certainly wasn't asking for it to happen like this.


Photos via (we heart it)


Anonymous said...

jessi baby, i feel your pain! I was on that shizz too. lol sycamore doesn't have real gossip i guess, because mine was ALSO A LIE!!

rose said...

my town got a 'gossip girl' sight too, but i can't believe the teachers of your school didn't do more to shut it down! (i'm assuming they knew, based on the whole newspaper artcile thing) there was uproar amongst the principles of the local schools where I'm from. The guilty parties were found out in the end (well most of them, apparently there are some who are yet to be named and shamed.

This week, someone set up a "dirties page" for my town on facebook, and that was shut down within two days

they're really terrible things. I've never been the subject of one, but they are sickening.

rosie xx

Alpha Za said...

damn, thats intense. I guess this would be a bad time to tell you how much fun getting revenge is....

Dog poop.


Brown Paper bag.

That's all I'm saying.

Katlyn said...

This is like a thousands of arrows stabbing straight into my heart. It hurts as I reading it, and it still does.

I'd been in this situation too. When I was in high school, my ex best friend betrayed me for my biggest enemy and they spread nasty rumors and lies about me which could never be the truth. My reputation went bad for nothing during my last two years in school.

High school life is dramatic, don't you think?

Maryam said...

I can understand how awful it must have been. I was in a similar situation when I was in high school, and I couldn't stand the idea that 20 people in a classroom believed in a certain piece of gossip. Having it all over the internet is profoundly awful.

Keep your chin up, and shrug it off. The people who believe in it don't matter, and those who matter are the ones who believe in you. I strongly believe in that :)

Jessi Haish said...

It's crazy that there appears to be a pattern! :P Oh high school, how I don't miss you... ;)


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