Thursday, March 17, 2011

reality is stranger than fiction

Reality is stranger than fiction.

I can not make up anything that has happened to me over the past few months or even the past few years. I can't control what's been going on, and if I was writing a book, I sure as hell couldn't think of any of this.

And that's fine.

It keeps me on my toes, it keeps me busy, it keeps me...working. But, I wouldn't choose this. At the same it's a learning experience so I'm going to try and learn from it.But sometimes it's just so hard. But I keep thinking about it and how I'm in this spot because I want to be. I'm where I am because it's what's good for me. I'm doing what I need to do to get wherever I'm going. Even if that means that I have to change my life, my perspective, I'm going to do it if it's going to benefit me in the long run.

Even if that means putting on a happy face not because I'm pretending or hiding, but because I'm going to change my perspective. Even if putting on a happy face makes me look fake, it's going to change my views and then maybe it will eventually be real. I think it's worth it, even though the situation currently sucks.

I have to do something.

I have to realize that the pros outweigh the cons maybe not today or tomorrow, but they will a month down the line or a year down the line. It will sure as hell be worth it down the road. So I have to just keep doing what I'm doing.

But I have to alter myself. I can't let myself get wrapped up in it, I can't let myself be bothered by things. I have to take from it what I can and throw out the rest. I have to do it or I'll go crazy. I'll have to endure the scrapes and bruises now cause down the road, I'll be glad I learned it early.

I have to do it. I'm done screwing around. I have to show that I'm there to do what I'm doing and there's nothing else. I'm going to learn what it takes. I'm going to play my part, it's all I can do.

Reality does really suck at times. But I'm going to deal with it.

photo via (we heart it)


Anthony Hodgson said...

Just remember jessi at this moment time you are right where you are supposed to be. Even if it doesn't make sense one day it will.

Erica said...

In Social Psychology that's called the the Facial Feedback Hypothesis. (Smiling to "become" happy) Another deep and interesting musing from a cool girl!


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