Reality is stranger than fiction.
I can not make up anything that has happened to me over the past few months or even the past few years. I can't control what's been going on, and if I was writing a book, I sure as hell couldn't think of any of this.
And that's fine.
It keeps me on my toes, it keeps me busy, it keeps me...working. But, I wouldn't choose this. At the same it's a learning experience so I'm going to try and learn from it.But sometimes it's just so hard. But I keep thinking about it and how I'm in this spot because I want to be. I'm where I am because it's what's good for me. I'm doing what I need to do to get wherever I'm going. Even if that means that I have to change my life, my perspective, I'm going to do it if it's going to benefit me in the long run.
Even if that means putting on a happy face not because I'm pretending or hiding, but because I'm going to change my perspective. Even if putting on a happy face makes me look fake, it's going to change my views and then maybe it will eventually be real. I think it's worth it, even though the situation currently sucks.
I have to do something.
I have to realize that the pros outweigh the cons maybe not today or tomorrow, but they will a month down the line or a year down the line. It will sure as hell be worth it down the road. So I have to just keep doing what I'm doing.
But I have to alter myself. I can't let myself get wrapped up in it, I can't let myself be bothered by things. I have to take from it what I can and throw out the rest. I have to do it or I'll go crazy. I'll have to endure the scrapes and bruises now cause down the road, I'll be glad I learned it early.
I have to do it. I'm done screwing around. I have to show that I'm there to do what I'm doing and there's nothing else. I'm going to learn what it takes. I'm going to play my part, it's all I can do.
Reality does really suck at times. But I'm going to deal with it.
photo via (we heart it)