Thursday, April 28, 2011

Late Night Thought: Me? Intimidating?

"I can honestly say that I liked you from day one. But you did intimidate me."

Me? Intimidating? I couldn't hurt a fly if I tried. But apparently I come off that way, and apparently I've not only intimidated potential friends, but had always scared away potential dates, especially in the "better" part of my high school years.

Too confident. Too weird. Too smart. Too bossy. Too determined. Too busy. Too crazy.

Yet once you get to know me, it's nothing. I'm just like you. We have so much in common. You see that my exterior only appears rough from a distance, and although I can weather quite a bit, when I crumble, I'm one that crumbles the hardest.

So to think that I could instill some sort of fear, intimidation in people is simply miraculous. I've always been good at faking a good dose of confidence: a fake smile, a firm handshake, severe and stern eye contact...but that's all it is. A little dose of forced confidence that gets me through the present.

People like me, but people can be so wary of me. Wary of my honesty, my openness, my determination. People can be so wary that they put up a wall between us. Or they turn around. They walk away. But then there's the few that actually try. And you quickly realize their worth.

"I can honestly say that I liked you from day one. But you did intimidate me."

Maybe it's for the best that I have this initial intimidation factor. It naturally helps me sort out who's going to be worth it enough to "take the plunge" and who can't handle the ride. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise.

By the way, the girl who said that is now one of my best friends.

photo via (we heart it)


Katlyn said...

I'm so related to this. People always judge me through my looks and think I'm not a nice person. One of them even told my friend, "When I first saw her eyes she killed me." LOL.

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