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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Enough is Enough: On Family


Everything was fine and dandy, I thought everything was right where it should be. Then the unimaginable happened: I got a Facebook friend request from a relative.

Other than my cousins, I'm not really Facebook friends with many other relatives. Why? I already don't have "relationships" with the majority of my relatives and I haven't for years, and I'm not about to be buddy-buddy with them after this long. Because if they don't care enough to talk to the actual me, why the hell should they have the right to stalk me the cyber way? Either they are lazy or nosy, I don't like either trait in people. So sorry, but I wont be hitting "accept" on your request. I may keep it in my requests without answering at all though: just a little bit longer for the giggles anyway.

Family is supposed to be your support system. Family is supposed to love you unconditionally. But sometimes, they simply aren't capable.

When you're young, you carry it like a chip on your shoulder. Well, at least I did. It bothered me that I didn't have holidays like my friends; I was frustrated that I didn't have all those relationships, ties and bonds to fall back on and enjoy. I thought something was wrong with me, I thought something was wrong with my parents...but I was just simply wrong. THEY chose to not be a part of my life. They were the ones who didn't want to put in any effort.

Having a family doesn't have to mean that you have four grandparents and many uncles, aunts and cousins. Family can surprise you in that you're not even blood-related to them at all. Family is those who love you at the end of the day...unconditionally. No matter who you are. Just because you share the same blood or last name as someone does not automatically make them family. Family is so much more.

If only certain people in my life realized that. Family is a lot more effort than Facebook "likes" or pokes. But when family is truly family, it doesn't feel like effort at all. It just happens, and that's when you know you're right where you need to be.

UPDATE: It was satisfying to turn down that friend request. After doing so, I was prompted with "Do you know this person outside of Facebook?" I gave a weary grin as I hit no.

photo via *we heart it*

4 comments:

Erica said...

I have a large family and the only person I have any real relationship with is one cousin, besides my mom, dad and sister. So I totally can relate to you. I am very guarded and do not like when a relative all of a sudden decides they want to be my buddy. um, no. I love when you said "Family is those who love you at the end of the day...unconditionally." I also define family as those who care if you're sick, want the best for you and would help you in times of need.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

I have to tell u that after my husband was killed my 'family' showed their true selves.. My oldest told me that death either brings a family together or it splits them.. Well it split us.... I guess my parents, in-laws couldn't deal w/our loss so they retreated, or acted weird... I found my friends to be my family and some friends felt uncomfortable w/my status.. Some did not invite me because I threw their 'count' off at dinner parties or they felt (wives) threatened by me... Well, I think u know what I am thinkin' right? 'F' them as they say...

Elle Sees said...

Yes. And I totally am gladni don't have to dealmwith such since I quit Facebook. Drama-free for me.

catcherintherye said...

Good point...

You know what they say: "Siblings are the people you have to be friends, friends are the people you choose to be siblings."

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