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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Life may continue to "surprise" you.


This is why I've forced myself to never get my hopes up...about anything. This is why I have a tough skin. This is why I've stopped giving a damn. It's just not worth it.

But am I really "surprised?"

Family. They're drawn out to be this huge support system, they're painted to be this beautiful concept that ties your life together. That you can't possibly live without. That engulfs your world.

That's not true for everyone.

"I hope you will accept my apology for being an absent aunt and maybe we could work on getting to know each other."

September 2010. That's when those words were said. It was refreshing to be honest, receiving an email with a subject line "you are so talented." It looked promising. So promising, in fact, that I blogged about it. I wanted to share that moment with others. It seemed, for the first time, someone in this damn family was doing something...right. Someone was doing something without being scared, hesitant, or just over thinking the situation. Someone was reaching out and caring for someone else. It doesn't happen that often in this family.

But it was a lie.

There was a chance for change, and in a cowardly, embarrassing and downright disappointing move, nothing happened.

Why would someone apologize if they have no intention to act upon it? Why would someone put on this big facade, if nothing was going to come of it? Why even waste your time?

Cause at this point, honestly, you're only wasting mine.

photo via *we heart it*

3 comments:

Erica said...

wow, that was so emotional. That's what I love about your writing... it's very real. I find that family can cause you the most pain sometimes. I consider anyone I meet, who is there for me, who cares about what I go through in life...my true family. I have had people do and say the most amazing things to comfort me in times of need and they were not relatives. So, to me, family is not something set in stone or designated by God necessarily. It's the people who step up.

Marie said...

tell your aunt how you feel. "be the change you wish to see".. yadda yadda

Chris said...

It totally sucks that she came in town when you thought about how someone actually stood up for their mistakes... then didn't do anything to back up the talk that they were slanging..

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