I'm so irritated lately. Now more than ever. Why? I feel stuck. Yes, my life is changing, yes, things are improving. But at the same time, I feel like I'm tied down to a chair, or I have weights tied to my ankles. Definitely more like weights tied to my ankles. I can still move, but it's difficult and I'm not getting anywhere fast.
I'm not getting anywhere fast when it comes to satisfaction. I feel like it takes so much more to make me happy these days. I'm simply unsatisfied. I'm tired of the same old drama, I'm sick of the same scenery, I'm bored by the thought of another day just like the last. I need new. But at the present moment, it's not really possible.
I'm sick of people around me not changing. I know that people don't change, and when they do, is it ever really enough? I want people to grow up. I'm sick of the immaturity and the petty attitudes. I want to scream immature things myself: get over yourself. Who are you kidding? You're not going to get anywhere in life if you don't get off your ass and try. Stop being so stuck-up. Stop telling me I'm wrong. Let's go or hit the road.
But it's like I'm stuck. I'm surrounded by people that I want to change, and they aren't going to do it. Maybe I could walk away? But even though I'm hellbent on things needing change and wanting a shake-up, I'm comfortable. I don't want radical changes. I guess I just want better. Go figure, the girl who wants change is terrified of it. So is it worth the risk? Will my fear be replaced with happiness? Is it worth trying to find out, or will I potentially lose everything I've worked so hard to gain...even the bad?