Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Bible boy crushed my 16 year old heart...and almost my face.

I was crazy about him: like staring dreamily at his face in the yearbook crazy. From eighth grade until my sophomore year of high school, I was crazy about him. He was a new kid in middle school, and that was always intriguing to me. He was in the band and he was smart and when he got flustered or irritated his face would turn red. Who knew that sophomore year I'd be the person making his face turn red...and not in a good way?

We had never really talked, but that had never stopped me from crushing on a guy before. But I was head over heels, I really thought he was something else. Until the one day I opened my mouth and began to speak...and it turns out he didn't like me at all.

We were in the same speech class and were presenting debates. Of course the topic suggestions were the usual: animal cruelty, marijuana legalization and...abortion. When I had to speak about abortion I went up and gave my very opinionated speech about being pro-choice. Even when I was sixteen I had deep, rooted opinions and no one could stop me.

The guy I liked for a couple of years (obsessively) was sitting in the front row and I beamed at him, hoping he would think I was super intelligent and witty. Maybe this was exactly what I needed to impress him. As a agnostic I quoted the bible, as a female I spoke about women's issues, and as a young student I spoke hoping I could get the grade. But more than anything, I wanted to impress that boy with the dark hair and dark eyes. The boy who turned out to be super religious and actually hated me because I wasn't.

He stood up when my speech was over and started firing questions and insults before the teacher had even opened it up for discussion. He said that my speech was very "satanic" and stupid. Thinking back on it, I think I handled the situation fairly well, but his response was alarming. How were the two of us going to live happily ever after someday when we couldn't agree on something like this? 

When class was over and I started to walk out with a friend I could feel his eyes burning a hole into the back of my head as we headed toward our next class...the same class. I could hear him mutter things like "going to hell" and "bitch" but I kept my head up and kept walking. I was fine until I heard "I wanted to punch her in the face."

As we neared our Spanish class's door, I spun around in a fury. That's when I would utter my first (and last) words to him. "Shut the hell up!" His face was alarmed, and he had nothing to say in return. I felt like I had control of the situation, and it put an end to his put-downs.

I could feel his eyes on me during the entire class period, but I didn't care. Four years of worship were down the drain, and I realized I was crazy about a guy I didn't even know, and who now hated me. I'll carry that memory of his vein popping out his head as he yelled at me in front of my speech class for the rest of my life. It will always be there, reminding me that there are more to people than what you may see at first (or the millionth) glimpse. I'll never forget the moment that I realized I had been crazy over a complete jerk and tool...and it's a feeling I would have many more times after that over many different people. Do you remember how you felt when you realized someone you thought you cared about was everything you didn't think they would be? 

photo via (we heart it)


Erica said...

wow, that's messed up. I am a Christian and one of the first things I know is "Judge lest not ye be judged". Some Christians don't understand that the way he went about things is mega wrong. And when you do stuff like that, the person you are treating that way is going to want to believe in God that much less. As a Christian you want everyone to believe, especially people you like but that doesn't give you the right to disrespect anyone! What a coincidence, in college I had to give a speech about abortion too, the topic was chosen for me and I dreaded it since I'm pro-life...for me that is. I wouldn't force my beliefs on anyone else. I was just stating what I would do in a given situation. I stressed this fact and a guy in the class did the same thing to me. Treated me very very poorly and said I was acting holier than thou, he said this in front of the whole class among other rude things. I was furious.

Everyone is entitled to his/her beliefs, this is a free country after all. I dated an atheist in college. He was hot. Did it bother me a bit, yes but only because he judged me! But like I said he was hot. I am a Christian but I try not to judge. I have had gay best friends, transsexuals, atheists, you name it as friends.I don't judge who's "going to hell" since I am not God. And I would hope people respect my views as a Christian and the decisions I make in the same way.

Melissa Blake said...

What a complete JERK!! You are so much better than that, and if you were dating him, you might never have met Chris!!

PeeVee said...

Wow, he sounds mean.
I crushed on a new guy in my junior year in high school, two months of longing and dreams and whatnot; the moment he opened his mouth and abused someone's mother (coz he though it was 'cool') down went ALL the admiration down the drain:D

violet said...

:( That sucks! So sorry that you had to experience something like that. But well, guess that we should put the past behind us... :)

HiLLjO said...

16 year old boys. Blech.

And this is always the lesson: talk to someone you are merely attracted to by looks. You'll find you probably have NOTHING in common.


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