Thursday, October 06, 2011

maybe high expectations can only lead to disappointment.

If you go in life expecting everything and everyone to live up to your high expectations, you're bound to be disappointed...right? Right. I've always taken pride in the fact that I think I deserve good things because I am a  good person. I've always thought that if I've kept and maintained so many morals that the people who want to be in my life need to as well. But how can you expect things from people if every time it turns out that they promise it but can't follow through? It's heartbreaking and it's exhausting.

I don't hold high expectations for the people in my life for fun. I don't do it because I enjoy watching them struggle. I hold them to high expectations because I hold myself to them and because I genuinely care about them. I want people to be the best version of themselves, and I never want them to hold themselves back. So I keep thinking that if I am the best person that I can be, then others will follow suit. But that's not the case.

Instead, they give up. They give up on me, they give up on themselves, they give up on everything. And guess who ends up getting hurt? I do. Because I gave them the benefit of the doubt, I got my hopes up, I cared too much. But the reason that it hurts the most is because I know these people can go beyond my wildest hopes and dreams. I know that they can do everything they want and more. I know that these people can be great, and they choose not to be. That's what hurts the most: realizing you care more about someone than he does about himself. And the worst part? You can do absolutely nothing about it.

You can cry, you can beg them to keep trying, you can do everything in your power to keep them on the right track. But the truth is, if they don't want it for themselves, it will never happen no matter how much you try and help. That's the way it is and that's the way it will always be. It's hard to walk away, but sometimes it's the only thing you can do. You can only be there for a person so much. You can only meet someone halfway. They have to come the rest of the way. All you can do is give it your all and hope for the best. That's it. And I've always had a hard time accepting that. But maybe sometimes it is for the best.

photo via (we heart it)


Erica said...

This explains my first love, the guy I thought I was going to marry.

Sometimes walking away is the only option. What's even sadder is when you think you love him more than he loves you.

I'd like to say that when you leave, the love ends. But it doesn't. Love never really ends.

catcherintherye said...

Wooww great writing ;)

You're absolutely right, most of the time our happiness depends on just the choices of others. You can't make them do something with force.

You can't force them to love you, to care about you, to be with you. Usually it doesn't make sense to me, but that's it.

violet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
violet said...

I FEEL this! I know exactly what it's like. I always try my best to believe the best in people; try to understand them, see things from others' point of views.
And I know how frustrating it is when they don't see it.

Your line: "All you can do is give it your all and hope for the best."; I feel like I could've been the one who wrote that myself too!

But you know what I realised once? It is that we can only do so much to help; we can't do everything especially if they themselves aren't really willing to.

However, sometimes we should just give them time. Because once in a while, they might just realise something.

Missed Periods said...

You are absolutely right. In a relationship--any type of relationship--the other person must meet you halfway. It sounds like you've got a healthy perspective.

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