Thursday, November 03, 2011

The dreaded Friend Zone.

We've all been stuck inside the friend zone at least one time. And every time it happens, it's like...being trapped in quicksand. Pleasurable torture. Craving something sweet while having your teeth worked on. But it happens so often. Why does it happen? After talking with one of my best friends about the subject, I've come to a conclusion. There is no antidote and there is no escape. Even worse, there's no changing it. I mean, do you know anyone who was put in the friend zone, only to be taken out later? Me neither.

"That's the rough thing about the friend zone. You get in it and it's impossible to get out of." 

So what happens if you're one of those girls who is considered to be one of the dudes? They all see you as a friend. And what if you become genuinely attracted to one of them? Because they enjoyed your company already as only a friend there's no way you can go beyond that point?

"If you meet someone and show interest in them right away you don't get put in the friend zone."

Ohh, okay. Not gonna lie, that makes sense. But I'm the kind of person who doesn't have any interest whatsoever until I get to know someone on a slightly deeper level. That's right. I want to know that we can pal around, have fun, tell each other random things and be stupid together before I even realize that I've fallen for you. So unless I put out the vibe to everyone, right away.... okay, that sounds like a terrible idea.

"It requires flirting which you don't wanna do."

Amen. I can't flirt. Definitely not one of my strengths. So let's get down to business: if you can't get out of the friend zone but you prefer to date someone who you have a good, solid friendship with, are you going to die alone? Because that's the way I see it.

And what's with all this "only guys get put in the friend zone?" I know plenty of girls (myself included) who have been in that boat more times than they'd like to count. It's a two-way street, people!

So what do you think? Can you avoid the friend zone before it hits you, or can you get out if you've already been put in it? I want to hear your story!

photo via (we heart it)


Rodney said...

Yeah, I pretty much live in the friend zone. I'm there so much that I've come up with an intro for it a la Rod Serling's Twilight Zone (which I modified for women):

You're about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a torturous land whose boundaries are that of temptation. It is the middle ground between amity and lust, between camaraderie and romance, and it lies between the pit of man's empathy and the summit of his passion. This is the dimension of benevolence. The signpost up ahead states your destination, you're about to enter…

Sara Szatmary said...

Ooo friend zone. I was in the "friend zone" with my BF for 5 years. We always flirted and had some serious chemistry but we always said when asked about our relationship "OMG *just* friends. TRUST ME!"

What got us out of it was seeing the other person in a long term relationship. It became painfully obvious that we could lose our chances to be together and so the next time we were both single we put our egos aside and started dating.

That was 3 years ago and now I'm madly in love... with my best friend.

Erica said...

I had way more guy friends than girls in my life. I put them right into friend zone and when they found girlfriends, I was left behind, understandably :(

But the friend zone can also lead to the romantic zone! My advice is let the friend zone hit, build up a friendship and then see what happens :)

Jenny in Ohio said...

I was always in the friend zone in early college and high school.

Then I learned the things you mentioned above- sort of. You have to be confident that you are an attractive woman that men want to date. I know that is really hard, and it might take awhile, but if you feel that, they can see that. You can still be friends with guys, but if you feel attractive, they might start seeing you in a different way.

I don't know how I figured this out, but it just clicked with me over a period of time. It's all about being confident.

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

I've definitely been in the friend zone. But after I moved on I realized that it wouldn't have worked in the first place. Sometimes it's for the best.

ching said...

'the friend zone' hurts a lot indeed but i always think of it as a blessing that they have you as a friend no matter what happens. boyfriends/girlfriends come and go but friends are always there.

Patricia Villamil said...

I think guys might still fantasize about you even if you live in the confines of the friend zone


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