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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Myth #1: Can women make the first move?

Every Tuesday I'm bringing you a dating or relationship-related myth and I'll weigh in on the issue then turn the table to you guys. You can reply in the comments or on your own blog - but I want to hear your stories and what you think about the subject! Make sure you check back here on Tuesdays for more!

Myth #1: Can women make the first move?
The age old question: if a woman is interested, can she make a move on a man before he does? This seems like an issue that has no clear-cut answer. Doesn't it really depend on the people involved? Of course. But the myth is that women shouldn't be able to. Why? Because men like to be dominant in a relationship, or they can be intimidated by a woman making all the moves. But what's wrong with that? I think that if a woman is interested, she should be able to ask him out on a date, flirt, or call first. Is it really that big of a turn-off if the woman pursues?

Some men find it unattractive. But why can't we be interested in someone before they realize they are interested in us too? I think more men should be flattered that we would pursue them. But instead they see it as us taking a hit to their ego. But hey, it's a two-way street, boys!

In my opinion, a woman should be able to make the first move - no matter what. If you're interested, do what you think you should do! And if a man can't appreciate or respect that, then he's not the one for you!

What do you think? Should women be able to pursue men and make the first move? Have you ever been the instigator, and how did it go?

And....
Check out the posts that inspired this series:
Flirting is hard work!

photo via (we heart it)

9 comments:

Cafe Fashionista said...

I think that women can make the first move (and I know plenty who do); however, I'm old-fashioned and don't think they should have to. If a guy is interested, he should pursue you. That's my two-cents. :/

Aly said...

I definitely think women should be able to make the first move! Maybe not necessarily asking a guy out on a date, per say, but something casual and laid back where you can get to know each other. Sometimes guys don't get the hint right away, and you don't want to spend too much time try to get him to be the one to ask first.

Plus, I personally think that asking first shows a lot of confidence, and it may even boost your confidence, regardless of how things turn out :)

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Women definitely can make the first move - why play games? I was always a bit more old-fashioned myself but hey my husband ended up calling me first so it does work out ;)

xoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living

Rebecca said...

I have recently adopted a no games policy. I'm bad at it though. For instance, I used to keep an eye on who called who, to make sure things were reciprocal. However, I really wanted to talk to him and I had initiated the past two phone calls. I compromised with myself and called him, but told him he had to call me next because I was abandoning games but I didn't want to be the only one doing the calling. He laughed at me and said just because he hadn't called didn't mean he wanted to talk to me any less and of course he would call next.

The right guy doesn't care if you make a move.

amy b.s. said...

i definitely think women can make the first move. i've done it a few times and had good luck with it. i don't think it should matter.

Elle Sees said...

I think it depends on the guy. Some guys are really shy and are attracted to that dominant personality, which in that case, the woman might make the first move.

XeL said...

I have made the first move a few times and it completely backfired! However, with my current boyfriend, I almost sent him a text message meant for my best friend that said, "I think I'm starting to fall for Stuart." I later told Stuart this and he said he would have found it very sweet and not scary or intimidating if I had accidentally sent the text or asked him out first. :) It all depends on the guy. If they're confident enough with themselves, they don't need to be "the man."

Alexa said...

Oh I'm terrible at first move making. Seriously. Haha...I say to all women though...go for it if you can!

Grace Denny said...

Great post. I agree with most of the women who've posted so far saying that woman can make the first move - however, I find when I'm in a situation like this I'm much more timid about making the first move - probably because it hasn't been socially ingrained in me....so if a relationship were to rely totally on me making the first move, it probably wouldn't happen, unless I really really liked someone, but hopefully in that case he would also like me back.

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