Every Tuesday I'm bringing you a dating or relationship-related myth and I'll weigh in on the issue then turn the table to you guys. You can reply in the comments or on your own blog - but I want to hear your stories and what you think about the subject! Make sure you check back here on Tuesdays for more!
Myth #2: Once a cheater, always a cheater?
One of the biggest issues that you have to deal with after something bad happens in a relationship is the inevitable question: do you forgive? Whether he lied or cheated, you have a decision to make. You can consciously forgive him, take him back, and hope it won't happen again, or you can walk away as to not risk getting in the situation again.
Although I haven't been cheated on, I've been lied to. I've been lied to a lot. But it was my first relationship and I was hopelessly in love. And although the lies kept me up tens of nights, wondering how deep they wove and how far they spun, I still wanted to forgive him. I wanted him in my life because I cared. And since we weren't together anymore, he could be honest with me. He could start telling me the truth. He could regain my trust, and then we could go back to the way we were before. Right? Wrong.
As much as I wanted everything to work out, I found out the hard way that it couldn't. I tried being friends, I tried forgiving, but we weren't even together anymore and I found out he was still lying to me. I had to realize that I had put my heart on the line once again, it hurt even more than the first time it happened. So I'm going to tell you what I've learned: if he has lied to you, there's a pretty good chance he'll be a repeat offender. If he was okay with hurting you in the first place, why would he not do it again? I think the same can be said about cheating as well.
I hate to do this, but there are so many examples in the celeb world of "once a cheater, always a cheater." I mean, look at that tattooed guy. He cheated on Sandra Bullock, and that tattooed chick...he's a cheating machine. Look at Tiger Woods. I'm realizing through other peoples' mistakes (in real life and Hollywood) and my own that people don't change. And let's face it, if they really cared about you as much as they said, why would they ever lie or cheat in the first place?
What do you think? Once a fake, always a fake? Or can people really change?