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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Myth #3: First impressions are everything.

photo via (we heart it)
Every Tuesday I'm bringing you a dating or relationship-related myth and I'll weigh in on the issue then turn the table to you guys. You can reply in the comments or on your own blog - but I want to hear your stories and what you think about the subject! Make sure you check back here on Tuesdays for more!

Myth #3: First impressions are everything. 

We've all heard the saying about first impressions being everything. But in a world of cyber-stalking, friend requesting before you actually know the person, online dating, and texting before you hear someone's voice, how can you judge a person based on a first "impression?" And with all of these options for meeting someone, when does the impression actually happen? Is it the first time you Facebook message, or the first time you meet face-to-face? And whenever it happens, does the first impression even mean anything anymore?

I'm a fairly open person; unlike some people, my online presence is a reflection of myself, rather than something I would like to be. I think that if I met my blog followers in real life, they'd feel like they already knew me and would realize that I'm the same person that I write about.  

But I don't think first impressions bear as much power as they used to, now that people can have so many identities. My father has a skill that I used to think I had as well. He knows, in the first five minutes of meeting someone, whether or not they'll get along or if he likes them as a person. And somehow, for the most part, he's spot on. I thought I was this way, but I  find that as I age, I'm more favorable of second chances, even when it comes to first impressions.

If I met a guy while out with my friends and he fumbled and said something stupid, I wouldn't hold it over him. I wouldn't label him with that action for the rest of eternity. Why? Because I like to know a person inside and out. And I can't figure that out in the first meeting of a person. When I get to know someone, I end up truly loving or hating them. Whatever way I feel about a person, it's passionate. No matter the feeling, I feel it a lot. But I can't figure that out in one sitting, so I'll give you a few tries to see how I feel about it. 

To me, first impressions with people won't make or break something. I understand we're just human. I still believe you should always make your first impression count, but never think that it will define you. At least it won't in my eyes.

What do you think? Would a bad first impression change everything for you when it comes to dating and potential relationships, or do you believe that first impressions don't really matter? And how do first impressions affect the outcome of a relationship - like avoiding the friend zone during a first meeting?

5 comments:

Melissa Blake said...

I'm sort of on the fence when it comes to first impressions. I can see how important it is for something like a job, but if you randomly meet someone and you don't necessarily vibe with them right away, so what? Why not give them another chance? What do you really have to lose...

Samantha said...

There are so many factors in first meetings that it doesn't seem fair to judge a person based on a first impression. What if they'd just had a bad day or are currently sick and on cold medicine that makes them drowsy or hadn't had much sleep lately or... There's a million possibilities. If a person isn't outright offensive or something right off the bat, I don't see any reason not to give them a second chance.

Sara Szatmary said...

I'm with Melissa on the fence. If the first impression is bad enough (eg: my friend's ex was super rude to her/us/her family when I first met him) that I have a hard time getting over it. On the other hand, some things seem insignificant once you know a person as a whole.

Ashton King said...

I think it depends on the degree to which a person makes a bad impression whether or not it sticks with me.

For instance, (and I know this isn't necessarily a relationship example) we had this reporter who automatically rubbed me and pretty much everybody else I work with wrong. However, I don't like to form my opinions based on just one encounter so I gave him the benefit of the doubt, i.e. new place, no friends, etc. But this guy proved my gut instinct right. His first impression was right on the money.

I Love You More Than... said...

I used to think first impressions were everything. & then I met my darling boyfriend. We had known each other less than 12 hours when he invited me over to his apartment for a party. Being the neurotic city girl that I am, I assumed he was invinting me over to drug me and take advantage of me. So, I forced my best friend at the time to come along with me. At that point, I wasn't attracted to him at all. He seemed overly confident & didn't seem to listen to anyone when they spoke. I won't lie, I judged him. But, I later found out that he couldn't hear half of what I was saying. He had lost a siginificant amount of his hearing at a young age. If I had judged him based on my first impression, I never would have gotten to know my best friend.I gave him a second chance, similarly to yourself, I try not to judge based on first impressions. But it's hard.

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