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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

i swore i wouldn't go back again.

photo via (we heart it)
Why do we continue to care about certain people? The ones who turn on us, the ones who don't accept our help, the ones who hurt us the most: these are the people we keep trying the hardest for. Why do we waste our time? Why do we put so much energy and effort into someone multiple times, only to have it rejected? Are we a bunch of masochists, or are we hard-wired to act this way?

I always thought I'd be stronger than this. I always thought that when I got hurt I'd be the strong girl that everyone says I am; I'd be able to pick up the pieces, dust myself off and walk away. I've done most of that. Except for the last one: I just can't walk away. I still care.

Why do we feel the need to try and change people? You may think that what they are doing is toxic for them. And yet you stick around, trying to stop them from doing something they're going to do either way. Or maybe you're trying to force them to do something you think is best for them, but for some reason they don't want it for themselves. Why do we do it? Do we care more about the person they are or the person we're trying to make them be?

And these people that we are bad for? That are bad for us? We're drawn to each other like a moth to a flame. We keep finding our way back to each other. Do we enjoy the drama or is there something more? You're toxic to me, and I'm no better for you, and yet we're still trying. We keep facing the person who hurt us the most, or vice versa, and we keep trying to change things that will not change. We keep trying to make things happen that never will. All we're doing is delaying the inevitable, and that's failure. It's bound to happen, but we keep pushing it off. We take a little pain now and then to avoid the heartbreak when it truly ends. And that's no way to live, but it's what we do. Why do we do it?

4 comments:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

We do it because we want what we think will make not only us happy but the other happy... when in truth if the other doesn't want it then we have to learn to accept the way things are and not ruminate over it.

Hey its ross! said...

Bro i got this just replace the word "we" in this thing with "i".

Kalei's Best Friend said...

@hey its ross: You're right... Its easier to say 'we' than 'I'.. takes the onus off....

Rebecca said...

Time fixes it. Nothing else works. Just be strong. Stay away. Eliminate contact and keep busy.

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