Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Myth #4: Friends with benefits never works.

photo via (we heart it)
Every Tuesday I'm bringing you a dating or relationship-related myth and I'll weigh in on the issue then turn the table to you guys. You can reply in the comments or on your own blog - but I want to hear your stories and what you think about the subject! Make sure you check back here on Tuesdays for more!

Myth #4: Friends with benefits never works.

If we haven't done it ourselves, we know someone who has. If we haven't seen the movie No Strings Attached, then we've seen Friends with Benefits. If you've heard someone say that friends with benefits doesn't work because emotions will get in the way, you've heard that it can be done if you handle it the right way. Is there truly an answer to can friends with benefits work? I think I've got an answer, and I think the answer is yes.

But there are certain conditions.

Friends with benefits is just like any other relationship. It's a lot of give and take, compromise, and above all, communication. If you're looking to have fun, that's great, but if you don't want to get hurt you need to be looking out for not only yourself but the other person as well. I'm not saying that I believe that friends with benefits is the best choice, but it can be done.

Get everything out on the table in the beginning. What you want, what you expect, how you actually feel. If you go into something this complicated and have any fuzzy or gray areas, something will go very wrong. And someone will get hurt. If you have no intention of anything beyond the casual, make it known right away.

Friends with benefits are just like any real relationship, minus the lovey-dovey emotions. But just because you intend to not have these emotions doesn't mean they won't come up. If planned carefully and open minds are kept about it, it is possible. However, you may try your hardest to ensure that it will work out, but you can't do anything about what may come of it in the end. Yes, it's possible to give it a fair shot, and yes, people succeed at it all the time. Does someone always end up falling? No. But it is incredibly possible. 

Friends with benefits shouldn't be your first choice for happiness. Just physical attraction and actions aren't going to help you heal a broken heart, impress someone, or be a stronger person. Friends with benefits can work if you work at it, but make sure you're looking out for you and your "friend."

What's your stance on friends with benefits? Can it work and is it really worth it? 


Kalei's Best Friend said...

LOL, how true... strings are always attached especially when someone says there are none!.

Rebecca said...

I don't know that I've ever seen it work and I've seen it tried many times. Anything is possible though!

Alexa said...

Dude this is so, so true. More people need to read this. Ha.

Cafe Fashionista said...

Definitely not. I don't think FWB is healthy for either party - there are always strings. Period. :/

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

I could NEVER have a relationship like that, just would not work for me.

Dancing Branflake said...

Well, I just think friends with benefits produces a tendency to shy away from commitment. I always think less of a guy when he gets involved with a situation like that. I want to say, "Man up and commit or walk away!"

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

I think you're right in saying communication and the same expectations are key. But people always end up wanting more somewhere along the line, so nope to having it last!

Chic 'n Cheap Living

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