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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Myth # 5: Friends can't share exes.

It's really not that scary. (Photo via)
Every Tuesday I'm bringing you a dating or relationship-related myth and I'll weigh in on the issue then turn the table to you guys. You can reply in the comments or on your own blog - but I want to hear your stories and what you think about the subject! Make sure you check back here on Tuesdays for more!

Myth #5: Friends can't share exes.

I'm going to jump right into this and take the unpopular opinion. Friends can't date the same people? I call bogus. I think that if you really want my sloppy seconds, that's your prerogative, and it's none of my concern. Because honestly, if you're not dating someone anymore, you don't have any sort of hold or possession of them. So who are you to voice an opinion on who they can see? Obviously things didn't work out between the two of you, so you both need to move on. To other people.

But it's not right for one of my friends to date someone who I've dated! I can hear you retort. Oh I'm sorry, did I miss the memo that said you have say over other people can date? It's none of your concern. It may suck to see your best friend dating someone you once cared about but let's be honest, it didn't work out for a reason. Leave it at that, and don't look into it anymore. It'll kill ya. I think that some of the best relationships can come from dating someone who was friends with your ex. I mean, if your ex wasn't quite right, this friend who may be pretty similar (give or take a few major characteristics) might be a good step in the right direction. Your aim was just a little off before!

I can see how there could be plenty of reasons not to date an ex's friend or a friend's ex or....any other variation of it. But I truly believe that it is possible, and could even be socially acceptable if done in a mature manner.  How can this be handled maturely? Like with anything else that has to do with relationships, it's all about communication. Talking to people honestly about things can prevent a lot of drama and headaches. Also, keeping an open mind and not over-thinking things does wonders too.

What do you think? Has your ex ever dated one of your friends, or have you ever dated an ex's friend? Is it a do or a don't?

8 comments:

Ashton King said...

I grew up in a small town so dating your friends' exes was unavoidable. There just simply weren't enough guys to go around. Nevertheless, it worked for the most part. Of course you came across jealousy in some situations, but there's always jealousy in a small town.

M├Ągi said...

I think by not dating, I made my life wayyy to easy. This sounds very, very complicated....

Susan said...

There have been a few instances where my friends have dated my exes, and it made me angry each time because I knew that they were not right for each other. It's awkward (especially when he tries to pretend nothing is going on) and sometimes difficult. But I kept my mouth shut and was there for my friends when everything fell apart for whatever reason. That is really all you can do.

Katlyn said...

One of my close friend's(but not any more) ex came after me 2/3 years after they broke up. I was single at that point but I rejected him on the spot. It's so disgusting to see them getting together, and then they split and each of them moved on to different people, after some time the guy came and told me what a terrible person my former close friend was. I mean, she is terrible in many aspects but I just didn't want to have anything to do with them.

Erica said...

When I was in Junior High I actually "set-up" my ex with my best friend and they dated. When you're young everyone dates everyone! I made a few exceptions for some of those very heavy romances because I would feel guilty dating someone my best friend was MADLY in love with. But dating boys just cause they were cute and fun was ok.

As an adult though, oh hell to the no! It's different of course, becaus eadult realtionships are that much more serious! So I wouldn't do the same things as I did as a kid.

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

I had a weird situation. I became friends with my ex after we didn't talk for several months. At that time he was dating someone new and she and I ended up being friends. So she wasn't originally my friend that went after my ex but still, we had him in common.

It was definitely fun to bitch about him =-)

Dinx said...

It does seem a little weird but also I don't think there's technically any problems with it. Just emotionally problematic. But if both party's are cool then why not? I've had so many friends switch boyfriends/girlfriends it was almost incestuous lol. Nice post =D

Dinx @ Lovely in Random xoxo

UjjwalRaaj said...

It is a problem if you're still in love with that person. That sucks really. And if it's your friend, it makes it a little worse. Only for oneself though. It isn't a problem otherwise.

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