Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Things Roseanne taught me.

photo via (we heart it)
I'm drifting away from the myths this week, and instead focusing on things I really know. I was watching a lot of Roseanne today and that's when I realized that I've learned a lot from this show and this woman. Yes, I learned a lot from the woman who once said "I am so amazing... if I ever get off this couch, I'll be unstoppable."

So what has she taught me? She has taught me a lot about family and life, but through her relationship with her two daughters on the show, I've also learned a lot about relationships and love. These are some of my favorite quotes from Roseanne from television, and Roseanne Barr herself.

"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego. 

I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.
My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

Women are cursed and men are the proof.

The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and screaming."


What's In a Name? said...

Wow these are some great quotes.esp the last one.

Carolynn Cecilia said...

I am a MAJOR Roseanne fan. I have seen every single episode {thank you Netflix} and I even guilty pleasured on her realty show this season. There was a wonderful article in New York Magazine a few months back that you must read. I quick google search should find it for you.

Erica said...

I loved Roseanne when it first aired and I still do. I love Darlene! I used her line once in college. Some girls were smoking weed in a car and offered me some and I said "I feel like I'm in the middle of a really bad afterschool special."
They laughed, but of course they did, they were high.
Drugs are bad

Michelle * Viva Revival said...

Love it! I think Roseanne is terribly underrated nowadays.

hopeformeyet said...

haha, I don't consider myself to be a big Roseanne fan, but you may have changed my opinion...those are some great quotes!


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